The Innocents Abroad · Chapters
Chapters explained
Chapter companions for The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain.
Chapter 1
Dedication
The author dedicates the volume to his aged mother, acknowledging her as his most patient reader and most charitable critic.
Chapter 2
The Innocents Abroad
The opening of the book introduces the narrator and his companions as they embark on a grand tour of Europe and the Holy Land, blending humor, satire, and observations on travel, culture, and the contrast between American and European ways.
Chapter 3
I
The narrator describes the planning and promotion of a grand pleasure excursion to Europe and the Holy Land, detailing the program, the selection process, and the excitement it generated. He recounts his own decision to join, the defection of notable celebrities, and the final preparations.
Chapter 4
II
The narrator describes the preparations for the voyage, including the impressive but ultimately mundane credentials of a fellow passenger, the widespread enthusiasm for traveling to Europe, and the chaotic, rainy departure from New York. He introduces his roommate and the cramped but satisfactory stateroom, and recounts the anticlimactic start of the pleasure excursion as the ship anchors in the harbor due to a storm.
Chapter 5
III
The ship remains at anchor on Sunday due to rough seas, with church and prayer meetings. On Monday, they weigh anchor and head to sea. The narrator observes the elderly passengers suffering from seasickness, takes pride in his own immunity, and encounters multiple captains aboard the ship, each enforcing rules and limiting his activities.
Chapter 6
IV
The pilgrims become accustomed to shipboard life, engaging in various amusements such as horse billiards, writing journals, mock trials, charades, and dancing. The chapter humorously observes the passengers' initial enthusiasm for journal-keeping and its inevitable decline, as well as the social and religious routines aboard the Quaker City.
Chapter 7
Summer in Mid-Atlantic—An eccentric moon—Mr. Blucher loses confidence—The mystery of 'ship time'—The denizens of the deep—'Land hoh'—The first landing on a foreign shore—Sensation among the natives—Something about the Azores Islands—Blucher's disastrous dinner—The happy result.
The chapter describes the voyage from New York to the Azores, including the phenomenon of the moon appearing stationary due to eastward travel, Mr. Blucher's confusion over ship time, sightings of marine life, and the first landing at Fayal in the Azores. It details the ragged locals, the Portuguese capote, and Blucher's panic over a dinner bill that turns out to be only $21.70.
Chapter 8
Solid Information
The narrator provides a detailed description of the Azores, including its Portuguese community, customs, and the Jesuit cathedral with its relics. The chapter also recounts a humorous donkey ride through the town and the surrounding countryside, highlighting the local roads and pavements.
Chapter 9
VII
The chapter describes a week of stormy seas and seasickness, culminating in a tempestuous night. The ship finally reaches the Straits of Gibraltar, where the passengers sight Africa, Spain, and the Rock of Gibraltar. A beautiful American ship passes by, stirring patriotic emotions. The narrator reflects on the Pillars of Hercules, the Rock of Gibraltar, and the town. The chapter also includes anecdotes about a poet and an inquisitive young passenger, a private excursion to Tangier, and a visit to Gibraltar's galleries.
Chapter 10
VIII
The narrator describes the ancient city of Tangier, Morocco, as a thoroughly foreign and exotic place that surpasses any previous expectations. He marvels at the diverse inhabitants, including Moors, Bedouins, Jews, and Negroes, and reflects on the city's ancient history, from the Phoenicians to the Romans. He also discusses local customs, the cramped market stalls, and the dangers of wealth under the despotic Emperor of Morocco.
Chapter 11
IX
The narrator recounts the pilgrims' adventures in Tangier, including Blucher's near-profanation of a mosque, Moorish customs regarding crime and punishment, marriage practices, religious observances, and the isolated life of the American Consul General.
Chapter 12
Fourth of July at Sea and Arrival in Marseilles
The chapter describes the celebration of the Fourth of July aboard the Quaker City in the Mediterranean, including the Oracle's absurd speech, the reading of the Declaration of Independence, a poor musical performance, and Captain Duncan's toast. It then recounts the arrival in Marseilles, the travelers' humorous struggles with the French language and customs, and their evening at the grand Casino.
Chapter 13
XI
The narrator describes the group's growing familiarity with European customs, including dining, hotel service, and the absence of soap. They visit the Prado, the Château Boarely museum, the Zoological Gardens, and the Castle d'If, where they reflect on the grim history of its dungeons and the prisoners who carved their names into the walls.
Chapter 14
First Impressions of Paris and French Travel
The narrator describes his first evening in Paris, including dining at a restaurant, exploring the streets, and the disappointment of a barbershop that fails to meet his romanticized expectations. He then contrasts the comforts and inconveniences of French railway travel with American systems, praising French orderliness, politeness, and the luxury of a thirty-minute dinner stop.
Chapter 15
XIII
The narrator and his companions hire a Parisian guide named Billfinger, whom they quickly rename Ferguson. They attend the International Exposition and witness a grand military review featuring Emperor Napoleon III and Sultan Abdul-Aziz of Turkey, contrasting the two leaders and their respective civilizations.
Chapter 16
XIV
The narrator describes his experiences in Paris, including visits to the Louvre, the Bois de Boulogne, the Morgue, and various gardens of entertainment. He reflects on the old masters' adulation of patrons, observes the Emperor and Sultan, witnesses the cancan dance, and attends a performance by Blondin the tightrope walker. A humorous incident occurs when he mistakenly compliments a young lady in English, thinking she is a foreigner.
Chapter 17
XV
The narrator describes a visit to Père la Chaise, the national burying-ground of France, reflecting on the great dead interred there, including Abelard and Heloise. He recounts the story of Abelard and Heloise in detail, criticizing the romanticized sentiment surrounding their tomb. The chapter concludes with observations on French women, a farewell to Paris, and a proud assertion that American women are the handsomest in France.
Chapter 18
XVI
The narrator describes the grandeur of Versailles, its vast park, palaces, and fountains, contrasting it with the poverty and revolutionary spirit of the Faubourg St. Antoine in Paris. He reflects on Louis XIV's extravagant creation, Napoleon III's urban planning, and the decay of royal relics.
Chapter 19
Genoa the Superb
The travelers return to their ship after a brief conflict with British sailors, then sail to Genoa. They explore the city's palaces, churches, and streets, admire the beautiful women, and encounter a frustrating guide. The chapter reflects on Genoa's history, architecture, and decline from its medieval glory.
Chapter 20
XVIII
The travelers speed through Italy, passing Marengo and arriving in Milan, where they are captivated by the magnificent cathedral. They explore its marble statues, spires, and treasures, including relics and a gruesome anatomical sculpture. The chapter reflects on the cathedral's grandeur, the vanity of worldly wealth, and the haunting power of memory.
Chapter 21
Chapter XIX
The narrator reflects on the leisurely pace of life in Milan, contrasting European comfort with American restlessness. The group visits a public bathhouse, struggles with the lack of soap, and later views Leonardo da Vinci's 'The Last Supper,' critiquing the exaggerated praise of aged artworks and the pretense of interpreting expression.
Chapter 22
XX
The narrator describes the journey from Milan to Lake Como by rail, the fumigation ordeal upon arrival at Bellaggio, and the beauty of Lake Como compared to Lake Tahoe. The chapter reflects on the scenery, local customs, and a reunion with a shipmate.
Chapter 23
XXI
The travelers journey by steamer down Lago di Lecco and then by carriage to Bergamo, observing the Italian countryside, its shrines, and its people. The driver tells a medieval legend about Count Luigi, a crusader who left his castle forty-two years ago, and his brother Count Leonardo, who has since tyrannized the land. The legend culminates in a dramatic rescue when a troupe of harlequins, revealed to be knights, saves Luigi's wife and daughter from Leonardo.
Chapter 24
XXII
The narrator describes his arrival in Venice by gondola, contrasting his romantic expectations with the gritty reality. He explores the Ducal Palace, the Bridge of Sighs, the Lions' Mouths, and the Cathedral of St. Mark, reflecting on Venice's glorious past and its present decay. The chapter includes a legend about the theft of St. Mark's bones.
Chapter 25
XXIII
The narrator describes the lively scene in a Venetian square, the locals' customs, and the absurd affectations of American tourists abroad who pretend to have forgotten English. He reflects on art, particularly the old masters and Renaissance paintings, and recounts a humorous incident involving a barber shave.
Chapter 26
XXIV
The narrator describes the comfort of being back on the ship in Leghorn, the suspicion of the local government that the passengers are Garibaldians, and a visit to Garibaldi. He recounts a frustrating search for a hotel in Florence, then describes the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Duomo, and the Baptistery with Galileo's pendulum. He reflects on Florence's ungrateful treatment of Galileo and Dante, and praises Florentine mosaic artistry.
Chapter 27
XXV
The narrator critiques Italy's economic and religious state, observing the contrast between magnificent churches and widespread poverty. He discusses the government's seizure of church property to address bankruptcy, describes the luxurious railway depots and turnpikes, and recounts a journey to Civita Vecchia, where he encounters a lively friar and reflects on the squalor and backwardness of the Papal States.
Chapter 28
XXVI
The narrator reflects on the nature of discovery and the diminished thrill of travel in Rome, where everything has been seen before. He imagines himself as a modern Roman discovering America, satirizing European ignorance and American progress. The chapter includes a detailed description of St. Peter's, its grandeur and scale, and a lengthy, humorous ancient Roman newspaper review of a gladiatorial performance, critiquing the spectacle and the audience's behavior.
Chapter 29
XXVII
The narrator describes their irreverent interactions with European guides, particularly in Rome and Genoa, where they feign ignorance and indifference to historical artifacts and figures like Christopher Columbus and Egyptian mummies. A lengthy anecdote about Judge Oliver's stoicism during a grueling journey across the Nevada desert illustrates the theme of uncomplaining endurance. The chapter also touches on the catacombs and various Roman legends.
Chapter 30
XXVIII
The narrator describes a visit to the Capuchin Convent's ossuary, where human bones form elaborate decorations, and a monk tells the tragic story of Brother Thomas. He then reflects on the overwhelming abundance of art in Rome, criticizing the old masters for neglecting historical scenes, and praises the papal government for preserving art.
Chapter 31
XXIX
The narrator describes the quarantine of the ship in Naples, the annoyance of local haggling and beggars, the cruel treatment of the singer Frezzolini at the San Carlo theatre, the ascent of Mount Vesuvius, and the religious frauds of St. Januarius's blood liquefaction and the Madonna's shaving procession.
Chapter 32
Ascent of Vesuvius
The narrator describes the vibrant contrasts of Naples, from its opulent and impoverished citizens to its chaotic street life, then recounts excursions to the Blue Grotto on Capri and the Grotto of the Dog, culminating in a detailed and arduous ascent of Mount Vesuvius, where the party observes the stunning, multi-colored crater.
Chapter 33
The Buried City of Pompeii
The narrator explores the excavated ruins of Pompeii, reflecting on the preserved streets, houses, and artifacts that reveal daily life in the ancient city. He contrasts the permanence of stone with the fleeting nature of fame, and muses on the tragic fate of the city's inhabitants during the volcanic eruption.
Chapter 34
XXXII
The pilgrims reunite on the Quaker City and depart from Naples, passing Stromboli, the Straits of Messina, and the Isles of Greece. They attempt to visit Athens but are blockaded by quarantine; they run the blockade at night, explore the Acropolis and Parthenon by moonlight, and return safely to the ship, with some passengers later successfully sneaking ashore.
Chapter 35
XXXIII
The narrator describes sailing through the Grecian Archipelago and the Dardanelles, contrasting ancient Greece's glory with modern Greece's poverty and decay. He recounts historical sites like Troy and the Hellespont, then details his arrival in Constantinople, where he observes the city's chaotic streets, diverse costumes, the Great Mosque, the Dancing Dervishes, the Thousand and One Columns, and the Sultan Mahmoud's mausoleum. The chapter highlights the bizarre sights, including a goose-rancher and the city's extraordinary cripples and beggars.
Chapter 36
XXXIV
The narrator recounts his disillusioning experiences with Turkish culture, including a disappointing Turkish lunch, a fraudulent Turkish bath, and the narghile. He satirizes the slave-girl market in Constantinople, the lack of commercial morals, and the suppression of newspapers under the Sultan. The chapter contrasts romanticized Orientalist expectations with grim realities.
Chapter 37
XXXV
The travelers sail through the Bosporus and Black Sea to Sebastopol, where they witness the devastating ruins of the Crimean War. They are warmly received by Russian officials, who offer them unusual hospitality and even suggest a visit to the Emperor. The chapter also humorously depicts Blucher's absurd relic-hunting and the travelers' habit of calling all guides 'Ferguson.'
Chapter 38
XXXVI
The travelers arrive in Odessa, Russia, and are struck by how much it resembles an American city, though local details like a turnip-domed church and a hack-driver in a petticoat break the illusion. They enjoy a holiday with no sights to see, indulge in ice cream, and learn the story of the Duc de Richelieu, who founded Odessa and built its grand staircase but died in poverty. The chapter ends with the group preparing to visit the Emperor, causing anxiety about courtly etiquette.
Chapter 39
XXXVII
The travelers arrive at Yalta, Russia, and prepare for a reception by the Emperor. They receive guidance from the U.S. Consul, draft an address, and are received by the imperial family in the garden. The Emperor and his family personally guide them through the palace, followed by visits to the Crown Prince's and Grand Duke Michael's palaces. The chapter contrasts the grandeur of imperial power with the surprising simplicity and warmth of the royal family, culminating in a relaxed breakfast with the Grand Duke and Duchess.
Chapter 40
XXXVIII
The chapter describes the travelers' return to Constantinople and subsequent voyage to Smyrna, Asia. It details the sailors' burlesque of the imperial visit, the narrator's irritation with the repeated phrase from the Address to the Emperor of Russia, and the arrival at Smyrna. The narrator reflects on the city's crowded, dirty, and chaotic Oriental character, its biblical significance as one of the seven apocalyptic churches, and the contrast with ruined Ephesus. The chapter also includes observations on sociable Armenian girls, a nostalgic dance memory, and the sight of camel trains that evoke the Arabian Nights.
Chapter 41
XXXIX
The narrator explores Smyrna, visiting the tomb of Polycarp, the site of one of the Seven Apocalyptic Churches, and the ancient citadel. He observes curious layers of oyster shells and broken crockery embedded in the hillside, speculating humorously on their origin. The chapter also recounts a recent Millerite ascensionist event in Smyrna, where a storm caused chaos below while those on the hill remained dry.
Chapter 42
XL
The travelers journey to ancient Ephesus by train and donkey, enduring a chaotic ride through the desert. They explore the ruins, including the theater and prison of St. Paul, and hear the legend of the Seven Sleepers of Ephesus.
Chapter 43
XLI
The narrator describes the journey from Ephesus to Syria, the prohibition against taking relics, the preparations for the Holy Land pilgrimage, the difficulties of securing transportation, the arrival in Beirut, and the extravagant camping experience with a full caravan of servants and luxurious tents.
Chapter 44
XLII
The chapter describes the travelers camping near Temnin-el-Foka (nicknamed 'Jacksonville') in the Valley of Lebanon, their morning routine and breakfast with a panoramic view, the quick striking of tents by Arab servants, and the narrator's humorous observations about his skittish horse 'Jericho.' The narrative also covers the historical and biblical significance of the region, including the tomb of Noah, the oppression of Syrians under Ottoman taxation, and the biblical conquests of Joshua.
Chapter 45
XLIII
The narrator describes the grueling three-day journey to Damascus, compressed into less than two days due to the pilgrims' refusal to travel on the Sabbath. He criticizes their rigid adherence to the letter of religious law at the expense of mercy toward their exhausted horses, contrasting their nightly lectures on gentleness with their harsh treatment of animals. The party detours to visit the fountain of Figia, where Balaam's ass drank, and endures a thirteen-hour ride through deserts and hills. They then travel across the Valley of Lebanon, observing primitive agricultural practices and a camel race, before arriving at the magnificent ruins of Baalbec, whose colossal temples and stonework inspire awe and wonder.
Chapter 46
Damascus: The Eternal City
The narrator describes the grueling journey to Damascus, the beauty of the city from a distance, its ancient history, and the disappointing reality of its cramped and dirty streets. He reflects on Muhammad's legendary refusal to enter the earthly paradise, the city's claim to be the oldest in the world, and the contrast between its glorious past and present decay. The chapter ends with the travelers arriving at a surprisingly luxurious hotel.
Chapter 47
XLV
The narrator recounts his recovery from cholera in Damascus, the intense heat of the Syrian desert, and the absurd appearance of his fellow American travelers with their umbrellas and green spectacles. He describes the village of Jonesborough (El something), the burial place of Nimrod, and reflects on the timelessness of the biblical landscape contrasted with the ridiculousness of modern tourists.
Chapter 48
Dan, Bashan, and the Waters of Merom
The narrator describes a ride through Bashan to Dan, reflecting on the smallness of Palestine compared to the United States, the historical and biblical significance of the region, and the desolation of the landscape. He recounts Joshua's battle at the Waters of Merom and Barak's victory over Sisera, while also satirizing the exaggerated tales of Bedouin danger from Wm. C. Grimes.
Chapter 49
XLVII
The pilgrims journey through desolate country near the Sea of Galilee, reflecting on the ruins of Capernaum and the life of Christ. They attempt to sail on the lake but balk at the price, leading to embarrassment. Jack's encounter with a turtle prompts a critique of the Colonel's embellished biblical descriptions.
Chapter 50
XLVIII
The pilgrims visit Magdala and Tiberias, observing the squalid conditions and beggars. They see Mary Magdalene's house and camp near Tiberias. The narrator reflects on the Sea of Galilee by day and by night, critiquing the romanticized descriptions of other travelers and noting how pilgrims borrow from books like Robinson and Thompson. He contrasts the unpoetic daylight view with the mystical, inspiring beauty of Galilee under starlight.
Chapter 51
XLIX
The narrator describes their swims in the Sea of Galilee, their disdain for Pliny and St. Paul for always having preceded them, and the appearance of a flamboyantly armed Arab guard who turns out to be a revenue scheme of the Sheik of Tiberias. The chapter also reflects on the view from Mount Tabor, the historical plain of Esdraelon, and the village of Deburieh.
Chapter 52
Chapter L
The narrator reflects on the Catholic Church's preservation of holy sites in Nazareth, particularly the Grotto of the Annunciation, and critiques the authenticity of such relics while acknowledging their value for devotion. He describes the Fountain of the Virgin, the local girls, and the pilgrims' obsession with collecting specimens. The chapter also includes a lengthy critique of Wm. C. Grimes's book 'Nomadic Life in Palestine,' highlighting its theatrical and hypocritical tone.
Chapter 53
LI
The chapter reflects on the boyhood of Jesus in Nazareth, the Apocryphal New Testament, and the pilgrims' melodramatic behavior. It describes the descent from Nazareth, the Plain of Esdraelon, the witch of Endor, and visits to Samaria and Shechem, blending biblical history with satire of the pilgrims' romanticized heroism.
Chapter 54
LII
The pilgrims journey toward Jerusalem, passing through Shechem, Jacob's Well, and Bethel, before finally arriving at the Holy City. The narrator reflects on the ancient Samaritan community, the tomb of Joseph, and the historical and religious significance of the sites, culminating in a subdued but reverent view of Jerusalem.
Chapter 55
LIII
The narrator describes the small, crowded, and impoverished city of Jerusalem, focusing on the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. He details the various holy sites within the church, including the Stone of Unction, the tomb of Adam, the place of the Crucifixion, and the grotto where the True Cross was found. The narrative is marked by a mix of reverence and skepticism toward the relics and traditions, with humorous and ironic commentary on the monks, pilgrims, and the commercialized piety surrounding the sacred spots.
Chapter 56
LIV
The narrator describes a tour of sacred sites in Jerusalem, including the Sorrowful Way, St. Veronica's handkerchief, the house of the Wandering Jew, and various biblical landmarks, while reflecting on the overwhelming nature of such rapid sightseeing.
Chapter 57
LVI
The pilgrims depart Jerusalem through the Damascus Gate, travel downhill through rugged terrain to Jaffa, and conclude their long pilgrimage. The narrator reflects on the desolate, cursed landscape of Palestine, contrasting its biblical grandeur with its present barrenness.
Chapter 58
LVII
The narrator describes the relief of returning to the Quaker City after a long pilgrimage, the joy of being at sea, and the comfort of the ship. Jack's eccentric costume prompts a recollection of his father's advice. They arrive in Alexandria, ride donkeys, and learn of the Jaffa colonists' rescue by Mr. Moses S. Beach. They travel to Cairo, stay at Shepherd's Hotel, and the narrator recounts a humorous, miserable experience at the Benton House in America. The chapter ends with preparations to visit the Pyramids.
Chapter 59
Chapter LVIII
The narrator reflects on the Sphynx as a symbol of memory and retrospection, describing its grandeur and the pathos of its ancient gaze. He recounts an incident where a relic-hunter tries to chip a specimen from the Sphynx but is stopped. He then lists many things he will not describe, including Cairo, the Great Caravan, and the railway, but offers vivid details about Egypt's ancient civilization, its achievements, and the journey back to Alexandria. The chapter ends with a farewell to the oldest land on earth and a tribute to Egypt's enduring legacy.
Chapter 60
Going Home
The chapter describes the long voyage home, with the narrator reflecting on the monotony of sea life through a series of dull notebook entries. He compares this to a boyhood diary of failed resolutions. The ship stops at various ports but is often denied landing due to quarantine. Four of the crew break quarantine to spend a week in Andalusia, but the narrator omits those adventures for lack of space.
Chapter 61
LX
The final leg of the journey home is marked by a flurry of packing, a broken leg, and a series of mass meetings. After stops in Cadiz, Funchal, and Bermuda, the pilgrims finally steam into New York harbor, ending their long cruise.
Chapter 62
The Valedictory
The narrator reproduces a letter he wrote to the New York Herald upon the Quaker City's return, offering a satirical summary of the voyage and the pilgrims' behavior abroad. He contrasts the advertised 'pleasure excursion' with the reality of a solemn, elderly group more akin to a funeral procession, and recounts their encounters with foreign cultures, their distinctive costumes, and their overwhelming enthusiasm for the Holy Land.
Chapter 63
Conclusion
The narrator reflects on the end of the Quaker City excursion, asserting that travel broadens the mind and dispels prejudice. He recalls the most vivid memories of the journey—from Paris and Gibraltar to Venice, Rome, Constantinople, and Damascus—and admits that, despite minor annoyances, he would gladly undertake the same voyage again. He praises the convenience of traveling with a fixed group and ship, contrasting it with the hassles of ordinary travel, and concludes that the excursion was faithfully executed and beneficial.
Chapter 64
Endnotes
A collection of endnotes providing additional context, corrections, and authorial asides, including a tribute to Colonel J. Heron Foster, clarifications on quotations, and various explanatory remarks.
Chapter 65
List of Illustrations
This chapter is a list of fifty-two distinct illustrations that appear in the book, providing a visual index of the scenes and subjects depicted throughout the narrative.
