Getting Married · Chapters
Chapters explained
Chapter companions for Getting Married by George Bernard Shaw.
Chapter 1
Preface to Getting Married
The preface introduces the central debate surrounding marriage as an institution, critiquing its legal and social foundations, and setting the stage for the play's exploration of marriage as a flawed but necessary social contract.
Chapter 2
The Revolt Against Marriage
The chapter critiques the dangerous nonsense surrounding marriage, condemning both the inhumanity of marriage law and the anarchical tendency of rebellious spirits to form illicit unions. The author advises young women against compromising without the security of marriage, citing examples like George Eliot and Nietzsche, and notes that even those who marry often insist on a private treaty of freedom, which paradoxically tends to result in monogamy.
Chapter 3
Marriage Nevertheless Inevitable
The chapter argues that despite widespread revolt against marriage, it remains practically compulsory for normal people due to legal, social, and economic pressures. Open violation leads to ruin, and even illicit unions are often as tyrannical as legal ones. The only solution is to acknowledge marriage's inevitability and work to reform it.
Chapter 4
What Does the Word Marriage Mean?
This chapter examines the ambiguous and varied meanings of the word 'marriage,' arguing that it is not a fixed natural institution but a social construct with different forms across cultures and legal systems. Shaw critiques the hypocrisy of those who defend marriage without specifying which version they mean, and he dismisses the idea of abolishing marriage entirely, instead advocating for improving its conditions, particularly the terms of dissolution.
Chapter 5
Survivals of Sex Slavery
This chapter critiques the institution of marriage by exposing its foundations in property law and sex slavery, arguing that current marriage laws are based on the morality of the tenth commandment, which treats women as chattels. It contrasts romantic and child-rearing assumptions about marriage with the reality that neither grounds for divorce are recognized, revealing the underlying property-based morality. The chapter also discusses the revolt against marriage, the economic dependence of women, and the social hypocrisy that punishes attacks on marriage while winking at marital misconduct.
Chapter 6
The New Attack on Marriage
This chapter argues that the contemporary attack on marriage is no longer based on romantic or libertine objections, but on the demographic crisis caused by declining birth rates. It contrasts the old religious revolt against marriage, exemplified by St. Paul's reluctant sanction, with the modern realization that marriage, now failing to reproduce the population, is destroying society. The chapter criticizes defenders of marriage for focusing on outdated threats while ignoring the real danger of depopulation.
Chapter 7
A Forgotten Conference of Married Men
The author recounts a conference of respectable married men organized by Hugh Price Hughes, revealing their complacent and unreflective view of marriage as a license for domestic comfort and routine, devoid of higher intellectual or moral aspirations. The chapter critiques the institution of marriage and the family as the cornerstone of a system that produces mediocrity, ignorance, and social stagnation.
Chapter 8
Hearth and Home
This chapter argues that English home life is fundamentally flawed—dishonorable, unvirtuous, and corrupt—and that if marriage cannot produce better individuals, both marriage and the nation are at risk. It critiques the idealization of domesticity, the narrowness and petty tyrannies of family life, and the hypocrisy that drives a revolt into debauchery and false morality.
Chapter 9
Too Much of a Good Thing
This chapter critiques the idealization of constant familial love, arguing that excessive affection and preoccupation with domestic sentiment can be harmful, particularly to children, and that healthy life requires balance with business and recreation.
Chapter 10
Large and Small Families
This chapter contrasts the social dynamics of large versus small families, arguing that large families provide better social training and resist excessive sentimentality, while small families foster morbid sentimentality. It critiques the decline of large families and the shift from tyranny to sentimentality in parenting, noting the dangers of chronic sentimentality.
Chapter 11
The Gospel of Laodicea
The chapter argues against the notion that one can have too much of a good thing, warning that excessive goodness is as dangerous as excessive badness. It criticizes the idea of maintaining heroic virtue continuously, comparing ethical strain to physical strain, and advocates for a normal, sustainable level of conduct rather than fanatical piety.
Chapter 12
For Better for Worse
The chapter critiques the marriage service as a commercial contract disguised by religious and poetic sentiment, arguing that it forces two people in a transient, passionate state to vow lifelong fidelity. It observes that most married couples do not truly live together but merely share a household, and that the ideal of marital intimacy is rarely achieved. The chapter contrasts the intolerable strain of poverty-stricken couples in a single room with the empty domestic peace of the leisured classes, concluding that the revolt against marriage is not only against its sordid origins in sex slavery but also against its sentimentality and romantic illusions.
Chapter 13
Wanted: An Immoral Statesman
The chapter argues that a statesman dealing with marriage must prioritize human nature over public opinion, which is a jumble of superstitions and hypocrisies. It contends that a government should prefer healthy illegitimate children to rickety legitimate ones, and capable unmarried couples to inferior married ones. The chapter criticizes the reluctance of governments to reform marriage laws, noting that the fall in the birth rate is now making action imperative, despite public opinion's resistance to discussing the issue.
Chapter 14
The Limits of Democracy
Shaw argues that democracy is not about governing according to the ignorance of majorities, especially on sexual morals, but rather that statesmen must convince voters they know better on methods, while the voter's role is to ensure the government consists of trustworthy experts who devise institutions for the common welfare. He illustrates the distinction between will and way, using examples of heat relief and moral discipline, to emphasize that expert method must prevail over popular ignorance.
Chapter 15
The Science and Art of Politics
This chapter explores the nature of political science as skilled work, distinguishing between the devising of institutions (statesmanship) and their execution (officialdom). It argues that democracy is appropriate for determining goals but disastrous for determining methods, advocating for an aristocracy of the best in governance and reform.
Chapter 16
Why Statesmen Shirk the Marriage Question
The chapter argues that reforming marriage is a politically perilous endeavor for any Prime Minister, who would face public vilification and opposition from the press and electorate. The reformer must proceed without concessions to conventional platitudes, relying on a deep understanding of marriage's realities and national needs. The conflict between public, impersonal ends and narrow, personal interests makes the Cabinet avoid the issue, but the reform cannot be indefinitely postponed.
Chapter 17
The Question of Population
This chapter examines the demographic implications of declining marriage and birth rates, weighing the need for population maintenance against the sterilizing effects of urban civilization and women's increasing refusal to bear many children. It considers economic incentives and the biological limits of human reproduction, drawing an analogy to bee colonies.
Chapter 18
The Right to Motherhood
Shaw argues that the existing marriage system fails to address women's revolt against compulsory barrenness, asserting that women have an absolute right to sexual experience and motherhood, which cannot be satisfied by adoption. He proposes that reconciling this right with marriage may require legalizing polygyny, given the demographic imbalance of more adult women than men.
Chapter 19
Monogamy, Polygyny and Polyandry
This chapter examines the institution of monogamy not as an ethical ideal but as a demographic and economic necessity. It argues that the number of spouses permitted is determined by the sex ratio in the population, and that in the event of war or other disasters, polygyny would be required to maintain population levels. The chapter also critiques the economic basis of marriage in modern civilization, where women are dependent on their husbands' wages, making polygyny impractical for most men.
Chapter 20
The Male Revolt Against Polygyny
This chapter examines the dynamics of polygyny and polyandry, arguing that women tolerate polygyny when it allows access to high-quality men, while men oppose it due to the resulting scarcity of mates. It suggests that monogamy is preferred when both sexes have access to sufficiently high-quality partners, and that opposition to polygyny comes from mediocrities rather than the best individuals.
Chapter 21
Difference Between Oriental and Occidental Polygyny
This chapter contrasts Eastern and Western polygyny, arguing that Eastern polygyny is limited by law and custom, whereas Western attempts at polygyny fail due to demographic ratios and the freedom of women. The author concludes that the only solution for 'superfluous women' is to legitimize children born out of wedlock.
Chapter 22
The Old Maid's Right to Motherhood
Shaw argues that the right to bear children should not be contingent on marriage, particularly for capable, independent women who are deemed 'superfluous' in monogamic reckoning. He contends that the best mothers are those who demand high conditions for maternity, and that current institutions penalize self-respect and degrade the national breed.
Chapter 23
Ibsen's Chain Stitch
This chapter examines the problem of 'superfluous women' and the question of who will father their children, distinguishing between women who are involuntarily single and those who voluntarily refuse marriage. It argues that if society legitimizes children born outside marriage, the institution of marriage itself may unravel, as economically independent women would prefer freer unions. The chapter concludes that the only alternative to the disappearance of marriage is extensive divorce reform, and warns that marriage is like a chain stitch—once a single thread is cut, the whole seam unravels.
Chapter 24
Remoteness of the Facts from the Ideal
This chapter contrasts the idealized notion of marriage with its flawed reality, arguing that the institution is already unraveling under social pressures. It points out that legal changes in other countries have not destroyed society, suggesting that marriage as practiced is far from the sacred ideal it is claimed to be.
Chapter 25
Difficulty of Obtaining Evidence
Shaw argues that true knowledge of marriage is nearly impossible to obtain because society's idealization of marriage and its punitive attitude toward deviation force everyone into hypocrisy. He notes that while we can guess that many bachelors and widowers are not Galahads, the inner reality of marriages remains hidden. He observes that society will overlook almost any misconduct as long as it stays out of the newspapers and is not confessed, suggesting that we all live in glass houses and that the ideal husband and wife are as unreal as cherubim.
Chapter 26
Marriage as a Magic Spell
This chapter argues that the marriage ceremony is a useless magic spell, incapable of instantly changing the nature of human relationships or fixing affections for life. It highlights that familiarity and compatibility are not created by vows, and that quarrelsomeness or affection are inherent traits unaffected by marriage.
Chapter 27
The Impersonality of Sex
This chapter argues that the sexual relation authorized by marriage is not inherently intimate or personal, but can exist between strangers with nothing in common. It critiques the romantic illusion that love is a permanent bond, exposing how economic necessity forces women to use sexual attraction as a bait for marriage. Shaw advocates for disentangling sex from exaggerated personal claims and legal slavery, calling for honest contracts about consequences rather than vows based on transient infatuation.
Chapter 28
The Economic Slavery of Women
This chapter argues that marriage, as currently constituted, forces women into economic dependence on men, reducing them to a form of sex slavery compounded by economic necessity. It critiques the 'husband hunting' that mothers are compelled to perform, equating marriage with prostitution in terms of economic compulsion, and calls for broader social reforms to make women independent of the need to sell themselves in marriage.
Chapter 29
Unpopularity of Impersonal Views
The chapter discusses the difficulty of getting average citizens to adopt impersonal views on marriage, as personal interests and comforts are deeply entangled in the institution. It notes that both men and women have personal stakes in marriage, with men increasingly viewing it as a cost-effective arrangement, especially now that children can be avoided.
Chapter 30
Impersonality Is Not Promiscuity
The chapter argues against the superstition that sexual instinct is inherently promiscuous, distinguishing between impersonality and promiscuity. It asserts that selection and preference are natural, using the example of picture postcards to illustrate that individuals are not interchangeable in matters of attraction, and criticizes the hypocrisy of those who oppose marriage reform by claiming that only coercion prevents indiscriminate behavior.
Chapter 31
Domestic Change of Air
The chapter argues that changes in marital partners are not inherently harmful and may even be beneficial, using examples of a woman married five times and a household of three intermarried families to illustrate that variety in relationships can lead to greater wisdom, sociability, and personal development. It critiques the notion that domestic stability requires lifelong monogamy, suggesting that legal reforms to facilitate easier changes would not demoralize society.
Chapter 32
Home Manners Are Bad Manners
This chapter examines how the indissolubility of marriage allows spouses to abandon basic civility and kindness at home, treating their partners and children with a level of rudeness they would never display in public. It argues that the institution of marriage, by trapping people together, fosters domestic tyranny and the decay of humane communication.
Chapter 33
Spurious “Natural” Affection
Shaw argues that the convention of natural affection within marriage and family is a manufactured emotion used to mask the intolerable situations created by indissoluble marriage. He criticizes how this pretense leads to bad manners, unsociability, and psychological harm, especially in small families, contrasting the middle class unfavorably with the upper and poorest classes in terms of genuine sociability.
Chapter 34
Carrying the War Into the Enemy’s Country
The chapter argues that once the desire to defend current marriage and family arrangements is abandoned, a strong case against them becomes clear. It contrasts the idealized British home with the reality of a filthy 'Augean stable,' suggesting that if reformers are treated as delinquents, destruction may be preferred over reform. The fight is framed as a political struggle for legal coercion.
Chapter 35
Shelley and Queen Victoria
The chapter argues that the marriage question must be confronted openly, warning against hypocritical mudslinging and comparing the economic dependence of women in marriage to prostitution. It contrasts the enlightened views of Shelley and Queen Victoria with the reactionary impulses of the popular press, and asserts that the current state of affairs in England is unsustainable.
Chapter 36
A Probable Effect of Giving Women the Vote
This chapter argues that women's political emancipation will lead to stricter legal enforcement of sexual morality, forcing society to critically examine and potentially reform its marriage laws and moral standards.
Chapter 37
The Personal Sentimental Basis of Monogamy
Shaw argues that true monogamy rests on a sentimental, intimate bond that cannot be shared among three people, contrasting it with mere legal or farmyard conceptions of marriage. He uses the example of Nelson and the Hamiltons to illustrate rare exceptions, and his play Candida to show that in a real marriage of sentiment, one partner must leave if a third party intrudes. He concludes that such marriages are naturally self-protecting and require rational divorce laws rather than rigid legal enforcement.
Chapter 38
Divorce
This chapter argues that the legal focus on adultery as the primary ground for divorce is misguided, and that more serious grounds such as cruelty, criminality, or incompatibility should be considered. It critiques the underlying assumption that women belong to a separate domestic sphere and that marriage is primarily about property and offspring, calling for a fundamental rethinking of marriage laws and religious foundations.
Chapter 39
Importance of Sentimental Grievance
The chapter argues that divorce laws should prioritize sentimental grievances and avoid creating conventions that pressure individuals to seek divorce based on specific grounds like jealousy. It advocates for private divorce proceedings and the recognition that the only valid reason for divorce is the desire for one, emphasizing the right to sexual experience and separating law from parentage.
Chapter 40
Divorce Without Asking Why
The chapter argues that the question 'Why?' should never be asked of a divorce petitioner, drawing a parallel to the natural right to life and liberty. It contends that imposing marriage on unwilling individuals is enslavement, just as forcing a continuation of marriage on those who no longer desire it is equally oppressive, rejecting the notion that marriage has any magical quality that should override personal freedom.
Chapter 41
Economic Slavery Again the Root Difficulty
This chapter argues that until women achieve economic independence, marriage will remain a form of slavery. It challenges the notion that allowing divorce equates to frivolous abandonment, and questions the government's Labor Exchanges for excluding wives and mothers from employment services, thereby reinforcing women's economic dependence.
Chapter 42
Labor Exchanges and the White Slavery
This chapter explores the implications of women achieving economic independence through labor exchanges, arguing that such independence would dissolve unhappy marriages maintained solely by economic pressure and necessitate easier divorce laws to prevent the rise of illicit unions.
Chapter 43
Divorce Favorable to Marriage
The chapter argues that divorce is not the destruction of marriage but a necessary condition for its maintenance, allowing for re-assortment of ill-suited couples and making marriage more appealing. It contrasts England's restrictive divorce laws with more liberal ones in Washington State and Japan, showing that higher divorce rates do not lead to societal collapse but rather reduce hidden unhappiness and clandestine polygamy. The author criticizes alarmist reactions to divorce as moral cowardice and a resistance to progress.
Chapter 44
Male Economic Slavery and the Rights of Bachelors
Shaw argues that economic pressures force many talented men into prolonged bachelorhood, which in turn creates a demand for prostitution as a temporary substitute for marriage. He contends that both prostitution and bachelordom will only disappear when women have access to honorable livelihoods and marriage reform allows easy dissolution of unsuitable unions.
Chapter 45
The Pathology of Marriage
Shaw addresses the pathology and criminology of marriage, acknowledging the existence of disease and contagion but choosing to focus not on obvious horrors but on the ignorance of normal, respectable people. He criticizes the willful ignorance that refuses to face the facts of venereal disease, noting that the innocent often suffer as much as the guilty, and argues that once people understand this, their self-righteous indifference will turn to concern for themselves and their families.
Chapter 46
The Criminology of Marriage
This chapter examines the pathological and legal dimensions of marriage, arguing that marriage law creates a private 'Alsatia' where violence and coercion are legalized, and that love itself can become a tyranny requiring safeguards. The author critiques sentimental views of love and advocates for partnerships of companionable friendship protected by legal devices.
Chapter 47
Does It Matter?
Shaw counters the complacent argument that because most couples get on well, marriage law is fine. He compares it to a magistrate ignoring burglary or a fireman ignoring a fire until it's their own house. He insists that the comfort of the majority does not justify exposing the unlucky or sensitive to intolerable wrongs, and that contentment under a flawed law is no excuse—just as slaves' comfort does not justify slavery. He concludes by focusing on the 'pence' of marriage's evils, letting the 'pounds' (crimes and diseases) speak for themselves.
Chapter 48
Christian Marriage
Shaw critiques the Christian Church's historical and contradictory stance on marriage, tracing its origins from a reaction against pagan sensuality and an expectation of the world's end, which led to a view of sex as obscene and a refusal to solemnize marriage. He argues that this forced the Church to later sanctify marriage, but it did so while retaining its earlier Pauline doctrine and uncritically adopting commercial values from the slave trade, such as the premium placed on virginity, thus allowing Mammon to dominate the institution.
Chapter 49
Divorce a Sacramental Duty
The chapter argues that marriage, as a sacrament, requires divorce when it loses its spiritual grace, criticizing the Church for defending indissoluble marriage and pointing to the Reformation's failure to fully reform marriage, leaving it a mix of commercial sex slavery, sex abhorrence, and sanctification.
Chapter 50
Othello and Desdemona
Shaw uses Shakespeare's Othello and Antony to illustrate the proprietary view of spouses as property, comparing it to a woman's disgust at the idea of 'lending' her husband. He argues that such views must be eradicated for a healthy public opinion on sex and marriage, and criticizes the hypocrisy that maintains the white slave trade while refusing sexual education.
Chapter 51
What Is to Become of the Children?
Shaw argues that children should not be used as an obstacle to divorce, noting that broken homes arise from many causes and that unhappy households are bad for children. He advocates for state intervention to dissolve harmful families, comparing parental custody to marital property and calling for rational reform of family law.
Chapter 52
The Cost of Divorce
Shaw argues that current divorce laws are ineffective because they are prohibitively expensive, making divorce accessible only to the wealthy. He proposes making divorce as cheap, easy, and private as marriage, allowing either party to request divorce without stating reasons, and placing the power to dissolve marriage for misconduct with the state. He also advocates for treating domestic work as paid labor and warns against leaving law and religion to judges and bishops.
Chapter 53
Conclusions
Shaw argues that the solution to making sexual relations decent and honorable lies in women's economic independence and the ability to dissolve unhappy marriages. He criticizes the current system of specifying grounds for divorce, advocating for divorce by mutual consent without the need to prove misconduct.
Chapter 54
Getting Married
Getting Married — Stage Lens: dramatic beats, line helps that follow your scroll, and stage picture. Read to understand, not to collect a closed thesis.
Chapter 55
Getting Married
Getting Married — Stage Lens: dramatic beats, line helps that follow your scroll, and stage picture. Read to understand, not to collect a closed thesis.
