Getting Married · Chapter
Marriage as a Magic Spell explained
This chapter argues that the marriage ceremony is a useless magic spell, incapable of instantly changing the nature of human relationships or fixing affections for life.
What happens
This chapter argues that the marriage ceremony is a useless magic spell, incapable of instantly changing the nature of human relationships or fixing affections for life. It highlights that familiarity and compatibility are not created by vows, and that quarrelsomeness or affection are inherent traits unaffected by marriage.
Themes in this chapter
Illusions of Romantic Love
The chapter debunks the belief that marriage vows can magically secure lasting affection, exposing the illusion that love can be guaranteed by ceremony.
Hypocrisy and Social Pretense
Critiques the insincerity of those who legislate and moralize as if marriage vows can prevent natural human discord, labeling such views as insincere or stupid.
Key passages
“The truth which people seem to overlook in this matter is that the marriage ceremony is quite useless as a magic spell for changing in an instant the nature of the relations of two human beings to one another.”
People mistakenly believe that the wedding ceremony can instantly transform the relationship between two people, but it cannot.
Central thesis: marriage is not a magical transformation.
“Even the most affectionate couples must have moments during which they are far more conscious of one another’s faults than of one another’s attractions.”
Even loving couples sometimes focus more on each other's flaws than on their positive qualities.
Highlights the natural ebb and flow of affection within marriage.
“Those who talk and write and legislate as if all this could be prevented by making solemn vows that it shall not happen, are either insincere, insane, or hopelessly stupid.”
People who believe that vows can prevent marital discord are either dishonest, irrational, or foolish.
Strong condemnation of the superstition surrounding marriage vows.