Getting Married · Chapter
Monogamy, Polygyny and Polyandry explained
This chapter examines the institution of monogamy not as an ethical ideal but as a demographic and economic necessity.
What happens
This chapter examines the institution of monogamy not as an ethical ideal but as a demographic and economic necessity. It argues that the number of spouses permitted is determined by the sex ratio in the population, and that in the event of war or other disasters, polygyny would be required to maintain population levels. The chapter also critiques the economic basis of marriage in modern civilization, where women are dependent on their husbands' wages, making polygyny impractical for most men.
Themes in this chapter
Economic Dependence of Women
The chapter highlights that women in modern civilization are not paid for their domestic and child-rearing work but are financially dependent on their husbands, making polygyny economically unfeasible for most men.
Population and Social Consequences
The chapter argues that marriage laws must adapt to demographic realities, such as sex ratios, to prevent depopulation and political ruin.
Illusions of Romantic Love
The chapter dismisses chivalry as an illusion, stating that the higher value placed on women's lives is a matter of demographic necessity, not moral superiority.
Key passages
“The number of wives permitted to a single husband or of husbands to a single wife under a marriage system, is not an ethical problem: it depends solely on the proportion of the sexes in the population.”
The allowance of multiple spouses is not a moral question but a practical one determined by the ratio of men to women in society.
This sets up the chapter's central argument that marriage norms are shaped by demographics, not ethics.
“The fundamental reason for not allowing women to risk their lives in battle and for giving them the first chance of escape in all dangerous emergencies: in short, for treating their lives as more valuable than male lives, is not in the least a chivalrous reason, though men may consent to it under the illusion of chivalry.”
The practice of protecting women from danger is not based on chivalry but on the practical need to preserve the female population for reproduction.
This debunks the romantic notion of chivalry, revealing a utilitarian basis for gender roles.
“The natural foundation of the institution of monogamy is not any inherent viciousness in polygyny or polyandry, but the hard fact that men and women are born in about equal numbers.”
Monogamy exists not because polygamy is evil, but because the birth rates of males and females are roughly equal.
This reframes monogamy as a demographic default rather than a moral achievement.