Getting Married · Chapter
The Criminology of Marriage explained
This chapter examines the pathological and legal dimensions of marriage, arguing that marriage law creates a private 'Alsatia' where violence and coercion are legalized, and that love itself can become a tyranny requiring safeguards.
What happens
This chapter examines the pathological and legal dimensions of marriage, arguing that marriage law creates a private 'Alsatia' where violence and coercion are legalized, and that love itself can become a tyranny requiring safeguards. The author critiques sentimental views of love and advocates for partnerships of companionable friendship protected by legal devices.
Themes in this chapter
Critique of Marriage as an Institution
Marriage is portrayed as legalizing what would otherwise be criminal violence, creating a lawless private sphere where abuse is permitted.
Illusions of Romantic Love
The author dismisses sentimental love as a tyranny, arguing that healthy marriages are based on companionable friendship rather than lifelong romantic or sensual passion.
Key passages
“Marriage makes this outrage absolutely legal. You may with impunity do to the person to whom you are married what you may not do to the most despised outcast of the streets.”
Marriage legally permits acts that would otherwise be considered serious crimes, granting a spouse immunity for behavior that would be punishable if committed against a stranger.
Highlights the central paradox of marriage law: it sanctions violence within the marital bond.
“if they had ever had five minutes experience of love they would know that love is itself a tyranny requiring special safeguards; that people will perpetrate 'for the sake of' those they love, exactions and submissions that they would never dream of proposing to or suffering from those they dislike or regard with indifference”
Love is inherently oppressive and demands protective measures, because people will impose demands and accept subjugation in the name of love that they would never tolerate from others.
Argues that love, rather than being a benign force, creates unique vulnerabilities and power imbalances.