Getting Married · Chapter
Remoteness of the Facts from the Ideal explained
This chapter contrasts the idealized notion of marriage with its flawed reality, arguing that the institution is already unraveling under social pressures.
What happens
This chapter contrasts the idealized notion of marriage with its flawed reality, arguing that the institution is already unraveling under social pressures. It points out that legal changes in other countries have not destroyed society, suggesting that marriage as practiced is far from the sacred ideal it is claimed to be.
Themes in this chapter
Critique of Marriage as an Institution
The chapter directly challenges the ideal of marriage, calling it a 'figment' and exposing the gap between its pretensions and reality.
Hypocrisy and Social Pretense
The text accuses bigots of preserving a false ideal of matrimony while the actual institution is 'questionable at its best, and abominable at its worst.'
Key passages
“the ideal matrimony and domesticity which our bigots implore us to preserve as the corner stone of our society is a figment: what we have really got is something very different, questionable at its best, and abominable at its worst.”
The perfect marriage that traditionalists defend is a fantasy; the reality is often dubious or even terrible.
This encapsulates the chapter's central argument that the ideal and the actual are vastly different.
“Marriage as a fact is not in the least like marriage as an ideal.”
The real institution of marriage bears no resemblance to its idealized version.
A concise statement of the chapter's theme.