Getting Married · Chapter
Marriage Nevertheless Inevitable explained
The chapter argues that despite widespread revolt against marriage, it remains practically compulsory for normal people due to legal, social, and economic pressures.
What happens
The chapter argues that despite widespread revolt against marriage, it remains practically compulsory for normal people due to legal, social, and economic pressures. Open violation leads to ruin, and even illicit unions are often as tyrannical as legal ones. The only solution is to acknowledge marriage's inevitability and work to reform it.
Themes in this chapter
Critique of Marriage as an Institution
The chapter critiques marriage as a coercive institution that is practically inescapable for normal people, despite its flaws.
Illusions of Romantic Love
The chapter dispels the illusion that illicit unions offer freedom, showing they are often as tyrannical as legal marriage.
Key passages
“Now most laws are, and all laws ought to be, stronger than the strongest individual. Certainly the marriage law is.”
Laws, especially marriage laws, are designed to overpower any single person's will.
Establishes the supremacy of marriage law over individual desires.
“The only people who successfully evade it are those who actually avail themselves of its shelter by pretending to be married when they are not, and by Bohemians who have no position to lose and no career to be closed.”
Only those who fake marriage or live outside conventional society can avoid marriage law without severe consequences.
Highlights the narrow exceptions to marriage's inevitability.
“an avowedly illicit union is often found in practice to be as tyrannical and as hard to escape from as the worst legal one.”
Openly non-marital relationships can be just as oppressive and difficult to leave as the most restrictive legal marriages.
Challenges the notion that avoiding legal marriage guarantees freedom.
“Marriage remains practically inevitable; and the sooner we acknowledge this, the sooner we shall set to work to make it decent and reasonable.”
Since marriage is unavoidable, we should accept it and focus on reforming it to be fair and sensible.
Concludes with a call for pragmatic reform rather than futile resistance.