Getting Married · Chapter
Unpopularity of Impersonal Views explained
The chapter discusses the difficulty of getting average citizens to adopt impersonal views on marriage, as personal interests and comforts are deeply entangled in the institution.
What happens
The chapter discusses the difficulty of getting average citizens to adopt impersonal views on marriage, as personal interests and comforts are deeply entangled in the institution. It notes that both men and women have personal stakes in marriage, with men increasingly viewing it as a cost-effective arrangement, especially now that children can be avoided.
Themes in this chapter
Economic Dependence of Women
The chapter highlights how a wife pays for her status with domestic service and other services, reflecting economic dependence within marriage.
Illusions of Romantic Love
The text contrasts sentimental grounds for marriage with sordid calculations, challenging romantic ideals.
Key passages
“Unfortunately it is very hard to make an average citizen take impersonal views of any sort in matters affecting personal comfort or conduct.”
It is difficult for ordinary people to think objectively about issues that impact their own comfort and behavior.
Opens the chapter by stating the challenge of impersonal reasoning in personal matters.
“We all have personal interests in marriage which we are not prepared to sink.”
Everyone has personal stakes in marriage that they are unwilling to give up.
Highlights the self-interest that prevents impersonal views on marriage.
“Now that children are avoidable, this calculation is becoming more common and conscious than it was: a result which is regarded as 'a steady improvement in general morality.'”
With the ability to avoid having children, the practical calculation of marriage's costs and benefits is more frequent and deliberate, and this is seen as moral progress.
Connects birth control to changing views on marriage and morality.