Short Fiction · Chapter
IV: Bright College Years explained
The narrator recounts his early life, from being alone in Seattle at age six to working as a squirrel-tender in San Francisco.
What happens
The narrator recounts his early life, from being alone in Seattle at age six to working as a squirrel-tender in San Francisco. He humorously describes his athletic prowess leading to offers from universities, and his plan to attend multiple colleges in one year. The chapter ends with his enlistment as a general during the Spanish-American War.
Themes in this chapter
Satire of Media and Business
The narrator's exaggerated claims of athletic prowess and university offers satirize media hype and the business of college recruitment.
Disillusionment and Failure
The narrator's early struggles and the absurdity of his jobs reflect a sense of disillusionment with conventional paths to success.
Characters to notice
- Bill Lange
Later famous as a ball player and dancing instructor; accompanied the narrator on the fire company trek to Chicago.
Key passages
“Alone in Seattle at the age of six, broke, and indebted to the hotel in the amount of $26.50 for board and room.”
At six years old, I was alone in Seattle, penniless, and owed the hotel $26.50 for lodging.
Sets up the narrator's early hardship and resilience.
“In those days there were no benches in the parks and a squirrel-tender’s job was to keep the squirrels out of the trees so the people would have some place to sit.”
Back then, parks had no benches, so my job as squirrel-tender was to prevent squirrels from climbing trees, giving people a place to sit.
Humorous description of an absurd job, highlighting the narrator's wit.
“Outwitting them and keeping them on terra firma developed both my brains and speed and ten years later, when my three runs of the length of the field won Yale a championship game, 4 to 2, an Associated Press commentator said “Harvard was beaten in the parks of San Francisco.””
Keeping squirrels on the ground sharpened my mind and quickness, and ten years later, my three long runs won Yale the championship; a commentator joked that Harvard was defeated in San Francisco's parks.
Links his odd job to later athletic success, with a touch of self-mockery.
“In the fall of this year an SOS was broadcast from Chicago—that gargantuan metropolis was in flames as a result of a cow named O’Leary dropping a lighted cigarette in a roll of films.”
That fall, Chicago sent an SOS—the city was burning because a cow named O'Leary dropped a lit cigarette in a roll of films.
Satirical retelling of the Great Chicago Fire, blending fact and absurdity.
“It was now time to think of college. Stories of my all-around athletic prowess had appeared in all the papers and I received tempting offers from virtually every university of standing.”
Now it was time for college. My athletic fame was in the papers, and I got offers from nearly every top university.
Exaggerates his reputation to mock the college recruitment process.
“Finally I decided to divide up my first year to the best advantage, going in the fall to Michigan, which needed a half back with a sextuple threat, spending the winter at Amherst, where a high class basketball guard was wanted, and winding up in the spring at Tulane, which was anxious to land a good pitcher who could also pole vault, hurdle, throw the javelin and run as anchor man in the relay.”
I planned to split my first year: fall at Michigan for football, winter at Amherst for basketball, and spring at Tulane for baseball and track.
Shows his comedic plan to attend multiple colleges for different sports.