Short Fiction · Chapter
How to Tell a True Princess explained
A humorous retelling of the classic princess-and-the-pea tale, where a prince is told by his father to marry a true princess.
What happens
A humorous retelling of the classic princess-and-the-pea tale, where a prince is told by his father to marry a true princess. The king proposes a test of delicacy involving a pea under many mattresses and quilts. The princess fails to sleep, claiming discomfort, but the test is deemed inconclusive. A modernized trial is then devised with absurd materials, and the princess correctly identifies the bird's name as 'Dickie,' proving her true princess status. The narrator ends by teasing the next story.
Themes in this chapter
Satire of Media and Business
The story satirizes the absurdity of traditional tests and modern 'trials,' mocking the idea of proving worth through ridiculous means.
Key passages
“Well my little boys and gals this is the case of a prince who his father had told him he must get married but the gal he married must be a true princess.”
The narrator addresses the audience, introducing a prince whose father insists he marry a genuine princess.
Sets up the premise of the story.
“So the old man says why if she is a true princess she must be delicate. Yes said the prince but what is the true test of delicate.”
The king explains that a true princess must be delicate, and the prince asks for a definitive test.
Introduces the central conflict of the story.
“So they made her bed this day in these regards. They put a single green pea annext the spring and then piled 28 mattresses and 49 eider quilts on top of same and says if she can sleep on this quantity of bed clothing and not feel disturbed, why she can't possibly be delicate and is therefore not a princess.”
They construct a bed with a pea under many layers to test if the princess can feel it.
The classic test is described with exaggerated numbers.
“Well the princess went to bed at 10 o'clock on acct. of having called up everybody and nobody would come over and play double Canfield with her and finely she give up and went to bed and hadn't been asleep more than 3 hrs. when she woke up and says I am very uncomfortable, they must be a pea under all these quilts.”
The princess goes to bed early after failing to find company, and wakes up complaining about a pea under the quilts.
The princess's discomfort is attributed to the pea, but the test is inconclusive.
“So finely the king suggested why not give her a modern trial. So the next evening but one they sent her to bed under these conditions: The counterpane was concrete and right under it was 30 layers of tin plate and then come 4 bales of cotton and beneath that 50 ft. of solid rock and under the entire layout a canary's feather.”
The king proposes a modernized test with absurd materials, including concrete and rock, to see if she can identify the bird's feather.
The modern trial is a humorous exaggeration of the original.
““Prince!” she said. “Is that the name of a dog?” They all laughed at her in a friendly way. “Why yes,” she said, “I can tell you the name of that bird. His name is Dickie.” This turned the laugh on them and at the same time proved she was a true princess.”
When asked to name the bird, she jokes about the prince being a dog, then correctly names the bird 'Dickie,' proving her princess status.
The princess's cleverness and correct answer validate her as a true princess.