Short Fiction · Chapter
The Phonograph and the Graft explained
Billy Keogh recounts how he and Henry Horsecollar helped Homer P.
What happens
Billy Keogh recounts how he and Henry Horsecollar helped Homer P. Mellinger, a private secretary in a tropical country, use a phonograph to maintain his honest graft. Mellinger, homesick for New York, uses a musical soirée to expose a conspiracy of local officials plotting a revolution. When the conspirators attempt to seize him, Henry Horsecollar's intervention allows them to escape. Mellinger buys the phonograph, valuing it for saving his position, and plans to return to New York.
Themes in this chapter
Deception and Appearance vs. Reality
Mellinger uses the phonograph soirée as a cover to gather conspirators, presenting a musical event while planning their exposure.
Crime and Consequence
The conspiracy to overthrow the government is thwarted by Mellinger's counter-plot, highlighting the consequences of political corruption.
Humor and Irony
The irony of Mellinger's 'honest graft' and the use of 'Home, Sweet Home' to inspire integrity amidst bribery and conspiracy.
Characters to notice
- Billy Keogh
Narrator of the story; recounts the introduction of the phonograph and the events with Mellinger.
- Unknown Narrator
The consul to whom Keogh tells the story; referred to as 'you' in the narrative.
Key passages
“I run a monopoly of square dealing here. There’s no competition. If Colonel Diogenes were to flash his lantern in this precinct he’d have my address inside of two minutes.”
Mellinger claims his honest dealings are unique and incorruptible, so much so that even the legendary truth-seeker Diogenes would find him immediately.
Mellinger boasts about his integrity in a corrupt environment.
“I’ve been pained for years on account of not having anybody to blow off and brag to. I get homesick sometimes, and I’d swap the entire perquisites of office for just one hour to have a stein and a caviar sandwich somewhere on Thirty-fourth Street, and stand and watch the street cars go by, and smell the peanut roaster at old Giuseppe’s fruit stand.”
Mellinger expresses his loneliness and nostalgia for New York, longing for simple pleasures over his political power.
Mellinger's homesickness reveals his inner conflict between duty and desire.
“That cultured Red Man exhaled an arrangement of sounds with his mouth that made the Latin aggregation pause, with thoughtfulness and hesitations. The matter of his proclamation seemed to be a cooperation of the Carlisle war-whoop with the Cherokee college yell.”
Henry Horsecollar let out a loud, intimidating yell that combined Native American war cries with college cheers, causing the conspirators to hesitate.
Henry's intervention uses a surprising tactic to disrupt the attack.