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Short Fiction · Chapter

The Chair of Philanthromathematics explained

Jeff Peters recounts his and Andy Tucker's venture into philanthropy after making $25,000 from a silver mine.

What happens

Jeff Peters recounts his and Andy Tucker's venture into philanthropy after making $25,000 from a silver mine. They establish a free university in Floresville, Arizona, hiring professors and attracting students. The scheme proves profitable, and they ultimately split $31,000 each, revealing that the entire enterprise was a graft. Andy reveals that the mysterious Professor McCorkle was actually the faro dealer they had been working with.

Themes in this chapter

  • Deception and Appearance vs. Reality

    The university is a front for a con; the philanthropic appearance masks a profit-making scheme.

  • Ambition and Failure

    The mine owner's failed mansion becomes the site of the university; the scheme ultimately succeeds as a graft, not genuine education.

  • Humor and Irony

    The irony of 'philanthropy' as a business; the absurdity of the university's curriculum and the professors' qualifications.

Characters to notice

  • Jeff Peters

    Narrator and co-founder of the World's University; recounts the philanthropic scheme.

  • Andy Donovan

    Co-founder of the World's University; lectures on irrigation and modern music; reveals the faro dealer as Professor McCorkle.

  • Unknown Narrator

    The listener to whom Jeff tells the story; interjects with questions.

Key passages

  • I see that the cause of Education has received the princely gift of more than fifty millions of dollars

    I notice that education has been given a huge donation of over fifty million dollars.

    Opening line that prompts Jeff's story about their own philanthropic venture.

  • When a man swindles the public out of a certain amount he begins to get scared and wants to return part of it.

    After cheating people out of money, a person often becomes frightened and tries to give some back.

    Jeff's cynical observation on the psychology of grafters turning to philanthropy.

  • Are you convinced now that philanthropy when practiced in a business way is an art that blesses him who gives as well as him who receives?

    Do you now believe that running philanthropy like a business benefits both the giver and the receiver?

    Andy's ironic justification of their scheme after splitting the profits.