Short Fiction · Chapter
Calculations explained
A long-haired temperance advocate approaches a red-nosed man at the Grand Central Depot, attempting to persuade him with a financial calculation about the cost of drinking.
What happens
A long-haired temperance advocate approaches a red-nosed man at the Grand Central Depot, attempting to persuade him with a financial calculation about the cost of drinking. The red-nosed man, a self-proclaimed calculator, responds with a threat of violence, causing the temperance man to retreat and target another passerby.
Themes in this chapter
Humor and Irony
The ironic contrast between the temperance man's mathematical calculation and the red-nosed man's violent retort creates a humorous and absurd situation.
Characters to notice
- Unknown Narrator
The narrator describes the scene at the Grand Central Depot, focusing on the long-haired man and the red-nosed individual.
Key passages
“My friend, do you know that if you had placed the price of three drinks out at compound interest at the time of the building of Solomon’s temple, you would now have $47,998,645.22?”
The long-haired man asks if the red-nosed man realizes that the money spent on three drinks, if invested at compound interest since Solomon's temple was built, would now be nearly $48 million.
This illustrates the temperance advocate's attempt to use financial reasoning to discourage drinking.
“I am something of a calculator myself. I also figured out when the doctor insisted on painting my nose with iodine to cure that boil, that the first lanternjawed, bone-spavined, rubbernecked son-of-a-gun from the amen corner of Meddlesome County that made any remarks about it would have to jump seventeen feet in nine seconds or get kicked thirteen times below the belt.”
The red-nosed man counters that he too is a calculator, having determined that anyone who comments on his iodine-painted nose must either jump a great distance quickly or suffer a severe kicking.
This shows the red-nosed man's aggressive and humorous response to the temperance lecture.