Poetry · Chapter
To a Professional Eulogist explained
The chapter is a satirical poem attacking a professional eulogist named Newman, who is depicted as a parasite that flatters the living for personal gain and then, upon their death, continues to exploit them by delivering insincere eulogies
What happens
The chapter is a satirical poem attacking a professional eulogist named Newman, who is depicted as a parasite that flatters the living for personal gain and then, upon their death, continues to exploit them by delivering insincere eulogies driven by appetite rather than truth. The speaker criticizes the eulogist's sycophancy toward the rich and famous, suggesting that he would even fawn on God if it served his ambition.
Themes in this chapter
Hypocrisy and Corruption
The eulogist is portrayed as a hypocrite who praises the dead for profit rather than truth, and corrupts the role of eulogy for personal gain.
Political Satire
The poem satirizes the figure of the professional eulogist as a servile sycophant to wealth and fame, critiquing the broader culture of flattery and ambition.
Characters to notice
- Unknown
The speaker of the poem, who addresses and criticizes the professional eulogist Newman.
Key passages
“Newman, in you two parasites combine: As tapeworm and as graveworm too you shine.”
Newman, you are a double parasite: you feed on the living like a tapeworm and on the dead like a graveworm.
The speaker introduces the central metaphor of the eulogist as a dual parasite.
“When on the virtues of the quick you’ve dwelt, The pride of residence was all you felt”
When you praise the living, you only feel pride in your own association with them.
Critique of the eulogist's self-serving motives when flattering the living.
“And when the praises of the dead you’ve sung, ’Twas appetite, not truth, inspired your tongue;”
When you eulogize the dead, you are driven by greed, not honesty.
The eulogist's insincerity in praising the deceased is highlighted.
“You share, ’tis true, the rich man’s daily dole, But what you get you take by way of toll.”
You do receive the rich man's charity, but you take it as if it were a fee owed to you.
The eulogist's entitlement and exploitation of the wealthy are criticized.
“O thrifty sycophant of wealth and fame, Son of servility and priest of shame,”
O frugal flatterer of the rich and famous, born of servility and devoted to disgrace.
Direct condemnation of the eulogist's character and role.
“I cannot choose but think it very odd It ne’er occurs to you to fawn on God.”
I find it strange that you never think to flatter God.
The speaker sarcastically suggests that the eulogist's sycophancy should extend even to the divine.