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On Stone: Some Ante-Mortem Epitaphs explained

The chapter presents a series of satirical epitaphs written before death, mocking various public figures—politicians, judges, journalists, and others—by exposing their hypocrisy, corruption, and moral failings through dark humor and ironic

What happens

The chapter presents a series of satirical epitaphs written before death, mocking various public figures—politicians, judges, journalists, and others—by exposing their hypocrisy, corruption, and moral failings through dark humor and ironic verse.

Themes in this chapter

  • Hypocrisy and Corruption

    Multiple epitaphs target corrupt politicians and businessmen, exposing their double-dealing and moral bankruptcy, such as Sam Chamberlain's 'Judas kisses' and Stephen Dorsey's 'new-school rascals.'

  • Political Satire

    The entire chapter is a series of satirical epitaphs mocking public figures, from judges who loaded dice with railway metal to politicians elected to the 'Lower' house after death.

  • Mortality and Regret

    The epitaphs dwell on death and the finality of the grave, often with ironic regret for wasted lives or unfulfilled ambitions, as in the epitaph for Fred Emerson Brooks, the 'Poet-elect of the Judgment Day.'

Characters to notice

  • Sam Chamberlain

    Epitaph II portrays him as a 'King of Craft' with a fatal smile and a double-dealing nature, likened to a titmouse Machiavelli.

  • John Ericsson

    Epitaph VI mocks the monument built to him, noting it was funded by a percentage of what was robbed from him while alive.

  • Deacon Fitch

    Epitaph XXXIV describes him as one whose business was to melt pitch, buried near Sammy who applied it hot, with a humorous confusion of their graves.

  • Estee

    Epitaph XLII tells of Estee shaking a basket from which Felton fell, and his death while squealing in Felton's growing shadow.

  • Stanford

    Epitaph XLIV notes Stanford's odd expectation that God should hasten to meet him, rather than the reverse.

  • Porter Ashe

    Epitaph XL states Porter Ashe is in the ground, a patron of the turf who never served it half so well as now.

Key passages

  • Here lies Sam Chamberlain; his fatal smile Survives its wielder for a little while In nightmares of the prudent few who fled The Judas kisses that it heralded

    Sam Chamberlain's deceptive smile continues to haunt those who escaped his betrayal, while those who stayed were killed.

    Highlights Chamberlain's treacherous nature and the lingering fear he inspired.

  • John Ericsson is lying in his fame. Behold how massive is the lofty shaft; How fine the product of the sculptor's craft; ... Suffice it that a fair percent we're giving Of what we robbed him of when he was living.

    The grand monument to John Ericsson is funded by a portion of the money that was stolen from him during his lifetime.

    Satirizes the hypocrisy of honoring someone posthumously with wealth taken from them.

  • Here lies Greer Harrison, a well cracked louse— So small a tenant of so big a house! ... All his no talents to the earth revert, And Fame concludes the record: 'Dirt to dirt!'

    Greer Harrison, a pretentious poet with no real talent, is buried; his lack of skill returns to the earth, and fame dismisses him as dirt.

    Mocks Harrison's literary pretensions and ultimate insignificance.

Poetry — On Stone: Some Ante-Mortem Epitaphs Explained