My Four Weeks in France · Chapter
How I Didn’t Drive Major Blank’s Car to Camp Such-and-Such explained
The narrator attempts to drive an American major's car from Paris to an artillery camp, but is thwarted by a series of bureaucratic obstacles: he needs a special pass, photographs, tools, tires, an essence ticket, and a driver's license.
What happens
The narrator attempts to drive an American major's car from Paris to an artillery camp, but is thwarted by a series of bureaucratic obstacles: he needs a special pass, photographs, tools, tires, an essence ticket, and a driver's license. After finally securing everything, a telegram arrives ordering him to hold the car in Paris, so he abandons the plan and books passage home.
Themes in this chapter
Bureaucratic Absurdity
The narrator faces endless paperwork, multiple passes, dossiers, and permissions just to drive a car.
Culture Clash and Humor
The narrator's struggles with French language, customs, and bureaucracy are played for comedy.
Wartime Inconvenience and Danger
The war creates constant obstacles: sentries, gasoline controls, and the need for special passes.
Characters to notice
- Narrator
The narrator attempts to drive a major's car to camp but is defeated by bureaucracy.
- Mr. Kiley
Mentioned as having driven the car from Le Havre.
- Captain Vandervelde
The narrator visits Captain Vandervelde to get an order for tools.
- The Officer
The narrator deals with various officers and officials for passes and permissions.
Key passages
“I’ve never handled, or, rather, footled one of the little birds, but it’s something everybody should learn, like French and auction and how to swim.”
The narrator admits he has never driven a car, but thinks it is a basic skill everyone should learn.
Shows the narrator's casual attitude toward a dangerous task.
“A telegram was waiting there for me. “Hold car in Paris,” it said. “Camp may be moved any day.””
A telegram arrives telling the narrator to keep the car in Paris because the camp might relocate.
The final bureaucratic twist that ends the driving attempt.