Discourses · Chapter
On Friendship explained
Epictetus argues that true friendship is only possible for the wise who understand what is truly good, because all animals are naturally drawn to their own interest.
What happens
Epictetus argues that true friendship is only possible for the wise who understand what is truly good, because all animals are naturally drawn to their own interest. He illustrates how external goods like wealth, power, or beauty destroy friendships, using examples from mythology and history, and concludes that friendship requires placing one's interest in the will and right use of appearances, not in externals.
Themes in this chapter
Desire and Aversion
Epictetus explains that love and friendship are corrupted when desire is placed on external goods like wealth, power, or beauty.
Social Duty and Friendship
The chapter directly examines the nature of friendship and the conditions under which true friendship can exist.
Rationality and Self-Examination
Epictetus urges self-examination to determine whether one's interest lies in the will or in externals, as the basis for genuine friendship.
Characters to notice
- Epictetus
The philosopher delivering the discourse on the nature of friendship.
- Admetus
Mentioned as an example of a father whose love for his child fails when tested by death.
- Eteocles
Used as an example of brothers who turned against each other over royal power.
- Polynices
Used alongside Eteocles to illustrate how friendship breaks when interest is placed in externals.
- Alexander the Great
Cited for ordering the burning of Aesculapius's temples when his friend died.
- Menelaus
Mentioned in the context of the Trojan War, where a woman caused conflict between him and Alexander.
Key passages
“What a man applies himself to earnestly, that he naturally loves.”
People naturally love what they devote themselves to seriously.
Opening statement linking earnest application to love.
“For universally, be not deceived, every animal is attached to nothing so much as to its own interest.”
Do not be fooled: every creature is most attached to its own self-interest.
Key principle explaining why friendships break over external goods.
“For where the I and the Mine are placed, to that place of necessity the animal inclines.”
Wherever a person places their sense of self and possession, that is where their natural inclination goes.
Explains the mechanism of attachment to interest.