Women in Love · Chapter
XXV: Marriage or Not explained
Birkin and Gerald debate the nature and value of marriage, with Birkin arguing against the conventional 'love-and-marriage' ideal and advocating for a broader, more sacred relationship between men as well.
What happens
Birkin and Gerald debate the nature and value of marriage, with Birkin arguing against the conventional 'love-and-marriage' ideal and advocating for a broader, more sacred relationship between men as well. Gerald, though attracted to Birkin's vision, feels unable to commit to it and sees marriage as a kind of doom. Meanwhile, Ursula delays setting a date with Birkin, and Gerald proposes a double wedding with Gudrun, leading to further philosophical discussion about the meaning and finality of marriage.
Themes in this chapter
Critique of Love and Marriage
Birkin explicitly challenges the pedestal of love-and-marriage, calling it repulsive and advocating for a broader, more sacred union.
Male-Female Polarity and Power
The chapter explores the power dynamics and existential choices in male-female relationships, with Gerald feeling condemned by marriage.
Human Connection and Isolation
Birkin's vision of a pure relationship between men contrasts with the isolating 'home instinct' and the privacy of couples.
Characters to notice
- Rupert Birkin
Argues against the traditional love-and-marriage ideal, advocating for a broader relationship that includes a sacred bond between men.
- Gerald Crich
Wrestles with the idea of marriage, seeing it as a doom yet feeling unable to accept Birkin's alternative of a pure relationship with another man.
- Ursula Brangwen
Deferred from day to day in setting a marriage date with Birkin, still wavering.
- Gudrun Brangwen
Gerald proposes a double wedding with her and Ursula, but she is not directly featured in the excerpts.
Key passages
“You've got to take down the love-and-marriage ideal from its pedestal. We want something broader. I believe in the additional perfect relationship between man and man—additional to marriage.”
Birkin insists that society must stop idolizing romantic marriage and instead embrace a wider range of sacred bonds, including deep friendships between men.
Central to Birkin's philosophy in this chapter.
“Marriage was like a doom to him. He was willing to condemn himself in marriage, to become like a convict condemned to the mines of the underworld, living no life in the sun, but having a dreadful subterranean activity.”
Gerald views marriage as a form of damnation, a life sentence to a shadowy existence without true vitality.
Reveals Gerald's inner conflict and despair about marrying.
“If he pledged himself with the man he would later be able to pledge himself with the woman: not merely in legal marriage, but in absolute, mystic marriage.”
Birkin suggests that a prior sacred commitment between men would enable a deeper, mystical union with a woman, beyond legal formalities.
Highlights Birkin's ideal of layered, transcendent relationships.