So Big · Chapter
XII explained
Selina DeJong, determined to give her son Dirk a beautiful life, resists offers of help from her friend Julie Arnold and Julie's father August Hempel.
What happens
Selina DeJong, determined to give her son Dirk a beautiful life, resists offers of help from her friend Julie Arnold and Julie's father August Hempel. She insists on working the farm herself and keeping Dirk away from the Haymarket. August Hempel visits the farm, assesses the land, and warns Selina that one cannot live another's life or prevent their mistakes. Selina passionately defines beauty as all worthwhile things—leisure, travel, art, growth—and declares her life exists only as something for Dirk to use.
Themes in this chapter
Beauty and Art
Selina defines beauty as all worthwhile things—leisure, travel, art, growth—and wants Dirk to have it.
Motherhood and Sacrifice
Selina declares her life counts only as something for Dirk to use, sacrificing her own happiness for his future.
Class and Social Mobility
August Hempel's rise from butcher to packer and his comments about the yards versus an office illustrate class mobility and its costs.
Characters to notice
- Selina DeJong
Passionately argues for beauty and self-sacrifice; insists on working the farm herself to give Dirk a beautiful life.
- August Hempel
Visits the farm, assesses the land, and advises Selina that people must make their own mistakes.
- Julie Hempel
Tries to take charge of Selina's affairs, arranges an automobile ride, and brings her father to help.
- Dirk DeJong
Enjoys the automobile ride and surveys the grays with the Van Ruys boys.
- Jan Snip
Rendered speechless by the automobile's arrival; counts Selina as lost and mad.
- Eugene Arnold
Mentioned as Julie's son who attends a north-side private school.
Key passages
“About mistakes it’s funny. You got to make your own; and not only that, if you try to keep people from making theirs they get mad.”
People must learn from their own errors, and trying to prevent them only causes resentment.
August Hempel's wisdom to Selina about letting Dirk make his own choices.
“It’s beauty! ... All the worthwhile things in life. All mixed up. Rooms in candlelight. Leisure. Colour. Travel. Books. Music. Pictures. People—all kinds of people. Work that you love. And growth—growth and watching people grow.”
Beauty encompasses everything valuable: comfort, freedom, art, learning, meaningful work, and personal development.
Selina's passionate definition of beauty to August and Julie.
“My life doesn’t count, except as something for Dirk to use. I’m done with anything else.”
Selina believes her only purpose now is to serve Dirk's future, having given up on her own dreams.
Selina's declaration of self-sacrifice to Julie and August.