Short Fiction · Chapter
How to Write a Blackwood Article explained
Miss Psyche Zenobia visits Mr.
What happens
Miss Psyche Zenobia visits Mr. Blackwood to learn the method of composing a 'Blackwood article' of the intense or bizarrerie type. Mr. Blackwood instructs her on the importance of using a blunt, never-mended pen, selecting sensational incidents (such as being drowned, choked by a chicken-bone, or attacked by bulldogs), and filling the article with piquant facts, foreign phrases, and classical quotations to create an air of erudition. He recommends recording one's sensations during a deadly predicament, and provides numerous examples of similes and expressions from various languages. Miss Zenobia resolves to write a genuine Blackwood article herself.
Themes in this chapter
Art and the Artist
The chapter satirizes the craft of writing, presenting a formulaic method for producing sensational literature and mocking the pretensions of literary erudition.
Death and Mortality
The recommended subjects for articles involve deadly situations—drowning, choking, being eaten by dogs—and the recording of sensations at the point of death.
Characters to notice
- Miss Psyche Zenobia
The narrator and aspiring writer who visits Mr. Blackwood to learn the secrets of composing a Blackwood article.
- Mr. Blackwood
The editor who instructs Miss Zenobia in the art of writing intense, sensational articles for Blackwood's Magazine.
Key passages
“You may say anything and everything approaching to ‘bread and butter.’ You may hint at buckwheat cake, or you may even go so far as to insinuate oatmeal porridge, but if bread and butter be your real meaning, be cautious, my dear Miss Psyche, not on any account to say ‘bread and butter!’”
You can talk around a subject using indirect hints, but never state the obvious directly.
Mr. Blackwood advises Miss Zenobia to avoid plain language in favor of suggestive, roundabout expressions.
“In a Blackwood article nothing makes so fine a show as your Greek. The very letters have an air of profundity about them.”
Using Greek quotations gives an article an impressive, scholarly appearance.
Mr. Blackwood emphasizes the importance of classical languages for creating an illusion of deep learning.
“Should you ever be drowned or hung, be sure and make a note of your sensations—they will be worth to you ten guineas a sheet.”
If you ever experience a life-threatening event, record your feelings carefully, as they can be sold for a high price.
Mr. Blackwood instructs Miss Zenobia that detailed accounts of personal sensations during peril are the most valuable content for a Blackwood article.