My Disillusionment in Russia · Chapter
III: Disturbing Thoughts explained
The narrator grapples with growing doubts about the Bolshevik regime, seeking guidance from Maxim Gorky.
What happens
The narrator grapples with growing doubts about the Bolshevik regime, seeking guidance from Maxim Gorky. Two meetings with Gorky prove unsatisfactory, leaving the narrator more unsettled. Observations of inequality, privilege, and corruption—including the disparity in rations, black market dealings, and the Cheka's involvement—deepen the narrator's inner conflict between blaming external forces and recognizing internal flaws in the revolution.
Themes in this chapter
Disillusionment with Revolution
The narrator's growing doubts about Bolshevism, fueled by inequality, corruption, and Gorky's unsatisfactory responses, mark a deepening disillusionment.
State Power vs. Individual Freedom
The Cheka's control, privilege of officials, and suppression of dissent illustrate the tension between state authority and personal liberty.
Betrayal of Revolutionary Ideals
The disparity in rations, black market dealings, and the servants' resentment reveal how revolutionary equality is betrayed by the new ruling class.
Characters to notice
- Unknown Narrator
The narrator struggles with moral doubts, seeks answers from Gorky, and witnesses inequality and corruption firsthand.
- Maxim Gorky
Gorky appears weary and evasive; his changed views on Bolshevism and his defense of isolating 'morally defective' children disappoint the narrator.
- Karl Radek
Radek assists the narrator in Moscow, offering hospitality and a room at the Hotel National, highlighting the privileges of Bolshevik officials.
- Zinoviev
Zinoviev is mentioned indirectly through his servant's request for vinegar, sparking outrage among working women over inequality.
- Demyan Bedny
Bedny travels with the narrator to Moscow but disappears upon arrival, leaving the narrator stranded at the station.
Key passages
“I began to suspect that the reason for much of the evil was also within Russia, not only outside of it.”
The narrator starts to believe that internal problems, not just external enemies, are causing Russia's suffering.
This marks a turning point in the narrator's perception of the Bolshevik regime.
“The inequality was most apparent in the Astoria kitchen. I went there frequently, though it was torture to prepare a meal: the savage scramble for an inch of space on the stove, the greedy watching of the women lest anyone have something extra in the saucepan, the quarrels and screams when someone fished out a piece of meat from the pot of a neighbour!”
The kitchen at the Astoria Hotel vividly showed the brutal competition for scarce food, highlighting the class divide even among revolutionaries.
This scene illustrates the daily struggle and resentment caused by inequality.
“I felt that kindliness, sympathy, and solidarity were still alive in Russia.”
Despite the hardships, the narrator finds comfort in the genuine hospitality shown by Radek and his wife.
This moment offers a brief counterpoint to the narrator's growing disillusionment.