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English as She Is Spoke · Chapter

Familiar Dialogues explained

A series of practical dialogues covering everyday activities such as dressing, dining, shopping, hunting, fishing, and language learning, all rendered in a highly unconventional English that reflects the author's creative misunderstandings.

What happens

A series of practical dialogues covering everyday activities such as dressing, dining, shopping, hunting, fishing, and language learning, all rendered in a highly unconventional English that reflects the author's creative misunderstandings.

Themes in this chapter

  • Linguistic Absurdity

    The dialogues are filled with malapropisms and literal translations, such as 'It pinches me too much upon stomack' and 'comb-me quickly; don’t put me so much pomatum.'

  • Cultural Misunderstanding

    The author's attempt to render English phrases reveals deep confusion about idiomatic expressions and social norms.

  • Humor in Error

    The unintentional comedy arises from phrases like 'I have the teetht-ache' and 'your pens have any notches, and its spit.'

Characters to notice

  • Unknown Narrator

    The narrator participates in dialogues, giving instructions and asking questions.

  • John

    John is called to bring breakfast items like sousages and ham.

  • Cuttler

    Referenced indirectly in the anecdote of the avaricious cuttler, though not directly appearing.

  • Swiss

    Mentioned as a person who speaks multiple languages fluently.

  • Plato

    Referenced in the context of classical learning, though not directly appearing.

Key passages

  • It pinches me too much upon stomack.

    It pinches my stomach too much.

    The speaker complains about tight clothing.

  • Comb-me quickly; don’t put me so much pomatum.

    Comb my hair quickly; don't put so much pomade on me.

    A request to the hairdresser.

  • Will you than I bring the ham? Yes, bring-him, we will cup a steak put a nappe clothe upon this table.

    Shall I bring the ham? Yes, bring it; we will have a steak and put a tablecloth on this table.

    A breakfast dialogue with John.

  • I have the teetht-ache.

    I have a toothache.

    A visit to the dentist.

  • Your pens have any notches, and its spit.

    Your pens have nicks and they splatter ink.

    Complaint about writing instruments.