# XXII: Woman to Woman explained — Women in Love

> Chapter companion for Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence.

## What happens

Ursula and Hermione engage in a tense, antagonistic conversation about Birkin and marriage. Hermione, who has returned from Aix, subtly condescends to Ursula, whom she sees as merely 'female' and emotional. Ursula resents Hermione's intellectual pretensions and her hold over Birkin. The two women discuss Birkin's contradictory demands for submission and absolute acceptance, with Hermione suggesting Ursula would be better suited to a more traditional, strong-willed man. Birkin arrives and tries to placate both women, but the atmosphere remains charged with rivalry and mutual disdain.

## Themes in this chapter

### Male-Female Polarity and Power

The conversation between Ursula and Hermione centers on Birkin's demands for submission and the nature of marriage, highlighting power dynamics and conflicting expectations between men and women.

### Individual vs. Society

Ursula resists Birkin's demand for absolute submission, asserting her own individuality against societal and relational pressures.

### Human Connection and Isolation

The antagonistic silence and failed communication between Ursula and Hermione underscore the difficulty of genuine connection, even among women.

## Character check-ins

### Ursula Brangwen

Engages in a tense conversation with Hermione, defending her own position and criticizing Birkin's contradictory demands for submission and absolute acceptance.

### Hermione Roddice

Returns from Aix and engages Ursula in a conversation about Birkin, subtly condescending to her and suggesting she would be better suited to a more traditional man.

### Rupert Birkin

Arrives to find the two women together and tries to placate both with small talk, but is caught in the antagonistic atmosphere.

### Gudrun Brangwen

Expected to come to tea with Winifred Crich but does not appear in the chapter.

### Winifred Crich

Expected to come to tea with Gudrun but does not appear in the chapter.

## Key lines

> You are so false, and untrue, how could you know anything? What is the good of your talking about love⁠—you untrue spectre of a woman!

Ursula accuses Hermione of being insincere and lacking true womanhood, questioning her understanding of love.

_Ursula's outburst reflects her deep resentment of Hermione's intellectual pretensions._

> He wants me to accept him non-emotionally, and finally⁠—I really don't know what he means. He says he wants the demon part of himself to be mated⁠—physically⁠—not the human being.

Ursula describes Birkin's confusing demand for a non-emotional, physical acceptance of his darker self.

_This highlights the central conflict in Birkin and Ursula's relationship._

> You should have a man like the old heroes⁠—you need to stand behind him as he goes into battle, you need to see his strength, and to hear his shout⁠—.

Hermione advises Ursula to seek a traditionally strong and virile man, not someone like Birkin.

_Hermione's advice reveals her own idealized view of masculinity and her critique of Birkin's fragility._

## Links

- HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/women_in_love_se/chapters/xxii-woman-to-woman
- Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/women_in_love_se
- All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/women_in_love_se/chapters