# Man to Man explained — Women in Love > Chapter companion for Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence. ## What happens Birkin, ill and bedridden, reflects on his rejection of conventional love and marriage, envisioning a pure, polarized union between man and woman. Gerald visits, and their conversation reveals a deep but uneasy bond. Birkin proposes a Blutbruderschaft, a blood-brotherhood of eternal loyalty, but Gerald hesitates. The chapter explores Birkin's philosophical ideals and the tension between the two men. ## Themes in this chapter ### Critique of Love and Marriage Birkin vehemently rejects conventional love, marriage, and domesticity, viewing them as a 'dreadful bondage' and 'horrible privacy.' He advocates for a new, polarized union. ### Male-Female Polarity and Power Birkin's meditation on the Magna Mater and his desire for 'pure duality of polarisation' between man and woman explores power dynamics and the struggle for individual freedom within relationships. ### Human Connection and Isolation Birkin's proposal of a Blutbruderschaft with Gerald highlights a yearning for deep, impersonal male bonding, contrasting with the isolating nature of conventional coupledom. ## Character check-ins ### Rupert Birkin Lying ill, Birkin meditates on his abhorrence of conventional love and marriage, desiring a pure, polarized relationship with Ursula. He proposes a blood-brotherhood to Gerald. ### Gerald Crich Visits Birkin, showing protective concern but also mistrust. He is attracted to Birkin's proposal of eternal union yet holds back, feeling limited and uncertain. ### Ursula Brangwen Referenced in Birkin's thoughts as the object of his desire for a new kind of relationship, but also as a figure he fears will possess him. ### Gudrun Brangwen Mentioned by Gerald as a potential art teacher for Winifred, and as the one who hit him at the party. ### Hermione Roddice Referenced by Gerald as the one who suggested Gudrun teach Winifred; also appears in Birkin's thoughts as an example of the possessive Magna Mater. ### Winifred Crich Mentioned as being clever with plasticine and a potential art student of Gudrun. ## Key lines > He knew how near to breaking was the vessel that held his life. He knew also how strong and durable it was. And he did not care. Better a thousand times take one’s chance with death, than accept a life one did not want. Birkin is aware of his own fragility and resilience, but he would rather risk death than live a life he doesn't choose. _Reflects Birkin's existential defiance and rejection of societal expectations._ > The old way of love seemed a dreadful bondage, a sort of conscription. What it was in him he did not know, but the thought of love, marriage, and children, and a life lived together, in the horrible privacy of domestic and connubial satisfaction, was repulsive. Birkin finds traditional love and marriage oppressive, like being forced into service, and the idea of a private domestic life disgusts him. _Highlights Birkin's radical critique of conventional relationships._ > He wanted so much to be free, not under the compulsion of any need for unification, or tortured by unsatisfied desire. Desire and aspiration should find their object without all this torture, as now, in a world of plenty of water, simple thirst is inconsiderable, satisfied almost unconsciously. Birkin longs for a freedom where desire is effortlessly fulfilled, like quenching thirst in a world of abundance, without the torment of longing. _Illustrates Birkin's ideal of a natural, unforced connection._ > We will swear to stand by each other—be true to each other—ultimately—infallibly—given to each other, organically—without possibility of taking back. Birkin proposes an eternal, unbreakable bond of loyalty and commitment between himself and Gerald. _Central to the chapter's exploration of male bonding and the Blutbruderschaft concept._ ## Links - HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/women_in_love_se/chapters/xvi-man-to-man - Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/women_in_love_se - All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/women_in_love_se/chapters