# XC explained — Seven Pillars of Wisdom > Chapter companion for Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T. E. Lawrence. ## What happens Lawrence, nearly snow-blind but determined, sets out to reconnoiter the approaches to Kerak and the Jordan Valley. He returns to Tafileh to find that Zeid has squandered the gold meant for the campaign, spending it on local tribes for a defensive purpose, ruining Lawrence's plans to advance. Despite Joyce and Marshall's arrival and attempts to intervene, Lawrence decides to leave for Allenby's headquarters, confessing his failure and physical exhaustion. He reflects on the fraudulence of his role and the toll of war. ## Themes in this chapter ### Futility and Meaning Lawrence's sense of fraudulence and the causeless deaths of Hesa weigh on him, leading to a crisis of meaning and a desire to escape free will and responsibility. ### Suffering and Endurance Lawrence's physical deterioration—snow-blindness, hunger, cold, festering sores—and his forced endurance under fire illustrate the theme of suffering. ### Honor and Deception The 'rankling fraudulence' of leading a national uprising with false promises and the squandering of gold by Zeid highlight the tension between honor and deception. ## Character check-ins ### T.E. Lawrence Nearly snow-blind, he reconnoiters the approaches to Kerak and Jordan Valley, then confronts Zeid about the squandered gold. Physically and mentally exhausted, he decides to leave for Allenby's headquarters, confessing his failure and the fraudulence of his role. ### Sherif Zeid Lawrence's younger brother, who spent the gold meant for the offensive on local tribes for a defensive purpose, ruining Lawrence's plans. He is described as too young and shy to counter his dishonest counsellors. ### Sherif Nasir Found in bed with fever, he despondently tells Lawrence that everything is wrong due to Zeid's youth and poor counsellors. ### Joyce Arrives with Marshall from Guweira to surprise Lawrence. He makes a vain appeal to Zeid and promises to explain to Feisal, then closes down Lawrence's affairs and disperses his bodyguard. ### General Allenby Lawrence travels to his headquarters to confess his failure and ask for a smaller role elsewhere. Allenby's advance is mentioned as making noise in the Jordan Valley. ### Sir Reginald Wingate Mentioned as being on the platform at Allenby's headquarters; Lawrence confesses to him that he has made a mess of things. ## Key lines > Morning found me nearly snow-blind, but glad and vigorous. Lawrence woke up almost blinded by the snow, yet felt happy and energetic. _Opening line showing Lawrence's resilience despite physical hardship._ > The final judgement was to make a personal examination of the approaches to Kerak, and the ground over which we would later advance to Jordan. He decided to personally scout the routes to Kerak and the terrain for the future advance to the Jordan River. _Lawrence's strategic reconnaissance mission._ > Zeid told me there was another Englishman in Tafileh. Zeid informed Lawrence that another British officer had arrived in Tafileh. _Introduction of Lieutenant Kirkbride._ > Zeid replied that he had nothing; and when I gaped at him, muttered rather shamefacedly that he had spent all I brought. Zeid admitted he had spent all the gold Lawrence brought, leaving nothing for the planned offensive. _The critical moment of financial ruin._ > I was aghast; for this meant the complete ruin of my plans and hopes, the collapse of our effort to keep faith with Allenby. Lawrence was horrified, realizing this destroyed his plans and the promise to Allenby. _Lawrence's reaction to Zeid's spending._ > I now had no tricks left worth a meal in the Arab marketplace, and wanted the security of custom: to be conveyed; to pillow myself on duty and obedience: irresponsibly. Lawrence felt he had no more useful skills in the Arab world and craved the safety of routine and following orders without responsibility. _Lawrence's desire to escape free will and responsibility._ > In my last five actions I had been hit, and my body so dreaded further pain that now I had to force myself under fire. Having been wounded in his last five engagements, Lawrence's body now feared more pain, requiring him to force himself into combat. _Lawrence's physical and psychological exhaustion._ ## Links - HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/seven_pillars_of_wisdom_se/chapters/xc - Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/seven_pillars_of_wisdom_se - All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/seven_pillars_of_wisdom_se/chapters