# XLV explained — Memoirs of a Midget

> Chapter companion for Memoirs of a Midget by Walter de la Mare.

## What happens

The narrator experiences a dream of being a victorious soldier amid a battlefield of the dead, then awakens to a transformative resolve. After an encounter with a traveling circus and a gipsy woman who recognizes her as a 'gold mine,' she decides to embrace self-exhibition for money and freedom, sewing finery and preparing for a new life.

## Themes in this chapter

### Solitude and Self-Discovery

The narrator finds solace and clarity in solitude, using it to plan her redemption and embrace her identity.

### Performance and Being on Show

The narrator decides to exhibit herself for money, reflecting on her past as a 'pot of caviar' and embracing the role of a performer.

### Deception and Self-Deception

The narrator's dream and her boastful self-assessment reveal a tension between her inner doubts and outward resolve.

## Character check-ins

### Unknown (Narrator)

The narrator dreams of being a soldier, then awakens to a resolve to redeem herself through self-exhibition, inspired by Fanny's courage.

### Adam Waggett

Adam interacts with the circus man and gipsy woman, protecting Rose and relaying the woman's words about the narrator being a 'gold mine.'

### Rose

Rose is frightened by the circus man's attention, but Adam comforts her.

### Fanny Bowater

The narrator admires Fanny's courage, wishing she had a fraction of it.

### Pollie

Pollie is mentioned in the context of the railway journey from Lyndsey to Beechwood.

### Aunt Alice

Aunt Alice is referenced indirectly through the mention of Aunt Kitilda's skirts.

## Key lines

> Not 'Your Master is dead,' but 'Your mistress is come to life again!' I whispered to the bees.

I told the bees that I, not a master, had been revived.

_The narrator announces her own rebirth and newfound agency._

> Money! Money!—a few even of my handfuls of that, and I was free. I would teach 'them' a lesson. I would redeem myself.

With just a little money, I could gain freedom and prove my worth to those who doubted me.

_The narrator equates financial independence with personal redemption._

> A blessed—oh, most blessed 'Gold Mine!' The word so sang in me that the whole garden—espaliered wall, and bird, and flower—leapt into life and beauty before my eyes.

The gipsy's description of me as a 'gold mine' filled me with such joy that the garden seemed to come alive.

_The narrator's elation at being seen as valuable transforms her perception of the world._

## Links

- HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters/xlv
- Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se
- All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters