# XLIV explained — Memoirs of a Midget

> Chapter companion for Memoirs of a Midget by Walter de la Mare.

## What happens

The narrator comes of age in disgrace after a drunken incident at Lord Chiltern's, leading to exile at Mrs. Monnerie's country retreat, Monk's House. There, she broods on her isolation, guilt, and desire for escape, finding a tentative connection with a child named Rose.

## Themes in this chapter

### Solitude and Self-Discovery

The narrator's exile at Monk's House forces her into deep introspection, grappling with her identity and past actions in isolation.

### Deception and Self-Deception

The narrator reflects on her own follies and lack of true penitence, acknowledging a heart 'empty' and 'parched up' with no room for love or remorse.

### Mortality and Memory

The narrator's morbid fascination with the well and the greyhound's 'jaws of destiny' evoke thoughts of death and the haunting persistence of memory.

## Character check-ins

### Unknown (Narrator)

The narrator, now of age, suffers the consequences of her drunkenness, is exiled to Monk's House, and wrestles with self-loathing and a desire for revenge.

### Mrs. Monnerie

Mrs. Monnerie confronts the narrator after the incident, showing a mix of concern and veiled threat, and arranges her exile to Croomham.

### Susan Monnerie

Susan carries the narrator to bed after the collapse and is seen crying, having lost her ring.

### Fleming

Fleming assists Mrs. Monnerie in caring for the narrator, then escorts her to Monk's House and later departs on holiday.

### Mrs. Percy Maudlen

Percy shares in the narrator's disgrace and brings a posy to her room, but is dismissed by Mrs. Monnerie.

### Rose

A five-year-old child, the lodge-keeper's daughter, who becomes a tentative friend to the narrator at Monk's House.

## Key lines

> From mind to mind was my much milder penalty.

Instead of being physically tossed around like a dwarf, I was mentally judged and discussed.

_The narrator contrasts the harsh physical punishment of old times with the social gossip she endures._

> I was an Ishmael. And worse⁠—I was still a prisoner.

I felt like an outcast, and even more so, trapped without freedom.

_The narrator uses the biblical figure Ishmael to express her sense of exile and confinement._

> It was as if I had glanced into the jaws of destiny.

Looking into the greyhound's mouth felt like confronting fate itself.

_A moment of symbolic foreshadowing, where the narrator senses an ominous future._

## Links

- HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters/xliv
- Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se
- All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters