# XLII explained — Memoirs of a Midget > Chapter companion for Memoirs of a Midget by Walter de la Mare. ## What happens The narrator reflects on the long August days in London, feeling friendless and penniless while observing the social dynamics around her. Fanny's visits become less frequent, while Percy Maudlen's attentions to Mrs. Monnerie increase. The narrator muses on her failure to capitalize on Mrs. Monnerie's generosity, her discomfort with both beautiful and clever people, and her secret habit of hiding behind a bureau to listen to conversations. She recalls a friendship with an old novelist who gave her advice on writing, and a young portrait painter who spoke of mixing paints with brains. ## Themes in this chapter ### Otherness and Identity The narrator feels like a 'curio' and an outsider, reflecting on her inability to fit in with either the beautiful or the clever people in Mrs. Monnerie's circle. ### Class and Social Hierarchy The narrator is acutely aware of her poverty and lack of social standing, contrasting her situation with the wealth and fashion of Mrs. Monnerie's friends. ### Solitude and Self-Discovery The narrator spends much time alone, staring at herself under a tree or hiding behind a bureau, reflecting on her own nature and past mistakes. ### Deception and Self-Deception The narrator promises help to Fanny that she cannot possibly deliver, and admits to being 'half-blind' and hostile, suggesting a failure to see herself or others clearly. ## Character check-ins ### Unknown (Narrator) Feels friendless, penniless, and hostile; reflects on her failure to profit from Mrs. Monnerie's social opportunities; hides behind a bureau to listen to conversations. ### Fanny Bowater Visits the narrator occasionally but seems bored; complains about the expense of living with the rich; her arm has supplanted Mrs. Monnerie's cane. ### Mrs. Monnerie Gazes at Percy with drowsy vigilance; enjoys intelligence as well as beauty; had promised to present the narrator at Court. ### Mr. Anon Referred to as 'Percy' (Percy Maudlen); Mrs. Monnerie's nephew; his conversation has small attractions for the narrator; he gapes like a goldfish at Fanny's corrosive remarks. ### Susan Monnerie Her visits to her aunt are now less frequent; she and Captain Valentine break in upon the narrator and Fanny. ### Fleming The narrator fears making an open enemy of her; Fleming disrelishes the narrator more and more, keeping her nose averted from the narrator's clothes. ### Miss M. The narrator refers to herself as 'Miss M.' when recounting the conversation with the young portrait painter. ### Mr. Wagginhorne Mentioned as 'poor Mr. Wagginhorne' who was frugal with his azaleas. ## Key lines > I shall never forget those interminable August days, besieged by the roar and glare and soot and splendour and stare of London. The narrator recalls the oppressive, endless summer days in London, overwhelmed by the city's noise, brightness, grime, and the constant gaze of society. _Highlights the narrator's sense of entrapment and discomfort in the urban social scene._ > Take a quart or more of lifeblood; mix it with a bottle of ink, and a teaspoonful of tears; and ask God to forgive the blots. The old novelist advises that writing requires deep personal sacrifice, emotion, and a plea for forgiveness for imperfections. _A memorable metaphor for the creative process as painful and messy._ > What I mix my paints with, Miss M.? Why—merely with brains. The young portrait painter claims that intelligence and skill, not just materials, are essential to creating art. _Contrasts with the novelist's recipe, emphasizing intellect over emotion._ ## Links - HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters/xlii - Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se - All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters