# XI explained — Memoirs of a Midget

> Chapter companion for Memoirs of a Midget by Walter de la Mare.

## What happens

The narrator, ill and bedridden after her nighttime escapade, is visited by Fanny Bowater, who reveals she knows of the narrator's secret stargazing. Their tense, charged conversation leaves the narrator both infuriated and fascinated. The next day, Christmas, the narrator finds gifts from Fanny and Mrs. Bowater, leading to a mix of gratitude, shame, and a growing obsession with Fanny.

## Themes in this chapter

### Deception and Self-Deception

The narrator grapples with guilt over her secret stargazing and considers confessing, while Fanny's promise not to 'tell' introduces a layer of mutual secrecy.

### Love and Obsession

The narrator's intense, conflicting feelings for Fanny—hatred mixed with longing—foreshadow an obsessive fixation.

### Solitude and Self-Discovery

The narrator's solitary stargazing and subsequent illness lead to a crisis of identity and a new awareness of her own vanity and desires.

## Character check-ins

### Unknown (Narrator)

Ill and remorseful after her nighttime adventure, the narrator is confronted by Fanny and later receives gifts, struggling with pride and attraction.

### Fanny Bowater

Visits the narrator, revealing she knows about the stargazing; her voice and manner both enchant and infuriate the narrator.

### Mrs. Bowater

Cares for the narrator during her illness, brings breakfast, and later receives lavender water as a gift.

### Dr. Phelps

Mentioned as being summoned to attend to the narrator.

## Key lines

> If it was the child of wrath in me that hungered at times after the night, woods, and solitude to such a degree that my very breast seemed empty within me; it was now the child of grace that prevailed.

The narrator reflects on a past craving for darkness and isolation, but now feels a contrasting impulse toward goodness and confession.

_Highlights the internal conflict between wildness and conscience._

> Her voice—it was as if it had run about in my blood, and made my eyes shine. A mere human sound to set me sobbing!

Fanny's voice has a profound, almost physical effect on the narrator, stirring both tears and fascination.

_Emphasizes the narrator's intense emotional and sensory response to Fanny._

> Pride and common sense fought out their battle in my mind. It was pride that lost the day.

The narrator's pride gives way to gratitude and acceptance of Fanny's gifts.

_Shows the narrator's shift from resentment to reluctant appreciation._

## Links

- HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters/xi
- Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se
- All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/memoirs_of_a_midget_se/chapters