# XL explained — Lavengro > Chapter companion for Lavengro by George Borrow. ## What happens The narrator returns to London Bridge, where he contemplates suicide but is distracted by a vision. He finds the apple-woman on the opposite side, who recounts how her book was stolen by boys. She retrieves the book from under her cloak, and the narrator reads it for hours before returning it and giving her another coin. ## Themes in this chapter ### Identity and Belonging The narrator's existential crisis on the bridge and his connection to the apple-woman's book explore his search for meaning and place. ### Adventure and Roving The narrator's wandering back to London Bridge and his engagement with the apple-woman's story reflect a roving, episodic journey. ## Character check-ins ### Lavengro Returns to London Bridge, contemplates suicide, then visits the apple-woman and reads her book. ### The Old Man The apple-woman, who recounts the theft of her book and shows it to the narrator. ## Key lines > I looked wistfully at the eddies—what had I to live for?—what, indeed! I thought of Brandt and Struensee, and Yeoman Patch—should I yield to the impulse—why not? He stared longingly at the whirlpools, questioning his reason to live, and considered historical figures who died by suicide or execution, wondering if he should give in to the urge. _The narrator's suicidal ideation is linked to historical examples of despair._ > I thought I saw a kind of Fata Morgana, green meadows, waving groves, a rustic home; but in the far distance—I stared—I stared—a Fata Morgana—it was gone— He imagined a mirage of a peaceful countryside home, but it vanished as he stared, leaving him with only the harsh reality. _The vision of a Fata Morgana symbolizes a fleeting hope or ideal that quickly dissipates._ > ‘Don’t tell anyone, dear; don’t—don’t,’ and the apple-woman burst into tears. She begged him not to reveal her secret, then broke down crying. _The apple-woman's fear of losing her book reveals its deep personal value to her._ ## Links - HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/lavengro_se/chapters/xl - Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/lavengro_se - All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/lavengro_se/chapters