# IX: Our Relations and Theirs explained — Herland > Chapter companion for Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. ## What happens The narrator contrasts Herland's collective, growth-oriented society with the individualistic, home-centered culture of the men. The women cannot comprehend the concept of a private home with a non-working wife, and the men struggle to explain their customs. The chapter explores Herland's child-rearing, education, and language, emphasizing a unified life cycle focused on national service rather than gender division. Terry grows increasingly frustrated, while Van and Jeff find contentment with Ellador and Celis. ## Themes in this chapter ### Gender Roles and Social Organization The chapter contrasts Herland's single, collective life cycle with the men's dual gender roles, highlighting the women's inability to understand private homes and non-working wives. ### Motherhood and Social Motherhood Motherhood is presented as a national service; children are raised collectively with a focus on growth and service, and the state is remodeled for the good of the child. ### Education and Knowledge Herland's child-literature and education are deliberately designed for growth and relation to national prosperity, as illustrated by Ellador's butterfly story and the insect teacher system. ## Character check-ins ### Van Narrator; reflects on Herland's child-rearing and contrasts it with his own culture; in a deep, restful relationship with Ellador. ### Terry O. Nicholson Frustrated and quarrelsome with Alima; complains about lack of vices and attempts to explain traditional gender roles; dismisses Herland women as 'neuters'. ### Jeff Margrave Defends Herland women's virtues; happy with Celis; contrasts with Terry's discontent. ### Ellador Curious about the men's world; explains Herland's child-rearing and education; shares a story about a butterfly that led her to become a forester. ### Alima Intermittently 'on' and 'off' with Terry; questions the role of women in the men's society; takes notes during discussions. ### Celis Explains that Herland women cannot live in one place due to work; happy with Jeff. ## Key lines > We cannot really understand it. We are only half a people. We have our woman-ways and they have their man-ways and their both-ways. We have worked out a system of living which is, of course, limited. They must have a broader, richer, better one. I should like to see it. Ellador admits that Herland's perspective is limited and expresses a desire to learn about the men's more complex society. _Shows Ellador's open-mindedness and the cultural gap between the two societies._ > They've no modesty. No shame—no knowledge of anything to be ashamed of. Even their shortcomings and misdeeds in childhood never were presented to them as sins; merely as errors and misplays—as in a game. Terry criticizes Herland women for lacking a sense of sin or shame, viewing their moral framework as merely corrective rather than punitive. _Highlights Terry's inability to grasp Herland's ethics based on growth and evolution._ > It was a butterfly that made me a forester. I was about eleven years old, and I found a big purple-and-green butterfly on a low flower... Ellador recounts how catching a rare moth led her to a career in forestry, illustrating Herland's integrated education and national service. _Demonstrates how Herland children's interests are channeled into socially beneficial roles._ ## Links - HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/herland_se/chapters/ix-our-relations-and-theirs - Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/herland_se - All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/herland_se/chapters