# Difficulty of Obtaining Evidence explained — Getting Married

> Chapter companion for Getting Married by George Bernard Shaw.

## What happens

Shaw argues that true knowledge of marriage is nearly impossible to obtain because society's idealization of marriage and its punitive attitude toward deviation force everyone into hypocrisy. He notes that while we can guess that many bachelors and widowers are not Galahads, the inner reality of marriages remains hidden. He observes that society will overlook almost any misconduct as long as it stays out of the newspapers and is not confessed, suggesting that we all live in glass houses and that the ideal husband and wife are as unreal as cherubim.

## Themes in this chapter

### Hypocrisy and Social Pretense

Shaw emphasizes that society maintains a 'steady pretence of blindness' toward marital misconduct, and that confession or publicity are the only threats to this facade.

### Illusions of Romantic Love

The chapter argues that the 'ideal marriage' is a fiction, and that no real marriage resembles it, undermining the romantic ideal.

## Key lines

> As to what actual marriage is, one would like evidence instead of guesses; but as all departures from the ideal are regarded as disgraceful, evidence cannot be obtained; for when the whole community is indicted, nobody will go into the witness-box for the prosecution.

We want facts about real marriages, but because any deviation from the ideal is shameful, no one will provide evidence—since everyone is guilty, no one will testify against the system.

_Shaw highlights the Catch-22 of studying marriage: the very social pressure that enforces the ideal prevents honest disclosure._

> If you confess misconduct to respectable men or women, they must either disown you or become virtually your accomplices: that is why they are so angry with you for confessing.

If you admit wrongdoing to respectable people, they are forced to either reject you or share your guilt, which is why they resent your confession.

_Shaw explains the social mechanism that punishes honesty and rewards hypocrisy in marital matters._

> We may take it, then, that the ideal husband and the ideal wife are no more real human beings than the cherubim.

The perfect husband and wife are as imaginary as angels.

_Shaw dismisses the ideal of marriage as a fantasy, reinforcing his critique of romantic illusions._

## Links

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