# That We Ought with Caution to Enter Into Familiar Intercourse with Men explained — Discourses

> Chapter companion for Discourses by Epictetus.

## What happens

Epictetus warns that frequent social intercourse with common people inevitably leads to assimilation, either corrupting the philosopher or requiring him to change others. He emphasizes the danger of being influenced by vulgar opinions and advises withdrawal from such associations until one's own philosophical principles are firmly established, comparing the process to a physician sending a patient to a different climate.

## Themes in this chapter

### Social Duty and Friendship

Discusses the risks of uncritical social intercourse and the need for caution in forming associations.

### Rationality and Self-Examination

Emphasizes constant self-observation regarding how one uses appearances and responds to external influences.

## Character check-ins

### Socrates

Cited as a model of someone who could lead his companions to his own purpose in social intercourse.

### Epictetus

The speaker delivering the discourse on cautious social intercourse.

## Key lines

> If a man has frequent intercourse with others either for talk, or drinking together, or generally for social purposes, he must either become like them, or change them to his own fashion.

Regular social interaction inevitably leads to mutual influence: you will adapt to them or they to you.

_Core thesis of the chapter on the transformative power of association._

> For if a man places a piece of quenched charcoal close to a piece that is burning, either the quenched charcoal will quench the other, or the burning charcoal will light that which is quenched.

Like charcoal, people in contact will either cool or ignite each other.

_Metaphor illustrating the unavoidable influence of social company._

> Until then the good sentiments are fixed in you, and you shall have acquired a certain power for your security, I advise you to be careful in your association with common persons: if you are not, every day like wax in the sun there will be melted away whatever you inscribe on your minds in the school.

Until your principles are firmly rooted, avoid common company or your learning will dissolve like wax in heat.

_Advice to protect nascent philosophical understanding from corrupting influences._

## Links

- HTML: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/discourses_se/chapters/xvi-that-we-ought-with-caution-to-enter-into-familiar-intercourse-with-men
- Book: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/discourses_se
- All chapters: https://www.betterreads.online/discover/discourses_se/chapters